HIT Piece 07.14.2015

I was sitting with another consultant the other day and was having a conversation.

In passing, he happened to mention—after hearing my response to his question about how long I’ve been in business with HSCT—that I have actually succeeded.

I paused for a moment, and then corrected his term “succeeded” by saying “No, I think I’ve just survived.”

The line between success and survival is thin. And it’s perceptional, based on who’s looking at the line—and the place where they’re standing.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 07.07.15

I don’t know what lies in the clearing at the end of the path.

But I do know that the way forward is through content: written, audio, visual. Content is the oil that greases the wheels toward success, rather than failure.

People often ask me, “Where do you want to end up at the end of Human Services Consulting and Training?” Or, “How are you going to scale this?”

I don’t know whether I am going to register as a minority and women owned business. I have no idea.

What I do know is that the work (not the jobs, by the way) will continue. And by putting one step in front of the other, I will get to the clearing at the end of the path.

My answer to both of those other questions, by the way, is “I don’t know,” and “I’ll scale when I’m good and ready.”

Thanks!

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 06.30.2015

“He’s so full of himself.”

“He brought a NYCity attitude up here to Binghamton and that’s not going to work here.”

“He was totally a commercial the entire time.”

“His intro was too long. He talked too much about himself.”

And that’s the feedback that was written down.

The formalized feedback process for workshops, seminars, in-person trainings and other events is based off of an old model that hybridizes the immediate feedback a stand-up comedian receives (either the audience claps or boos) and the more long distance feedback that politicians and actors receive (either the audience buys a ticket, or doesn’t).

Both methods of giving feedback to a presenter, or speaker, are gradually fading away in an era of immediacy with social media, but that’s with crowds that are majority 18-34. The crowds that I still present to, train in front of and receive feedback from (like that written up there in those quotes) is still in the 35-55 year old age group.

I was going to write today’s HIT Piece about the endgame for this entrepreneurial project I’ve got going, but the feedback issue has been growing in two ways:

Audience members now feel comfortable enough with me (which I guess means that there’s a sense of rapport now) where they feel as though they can come up to me and say almost anything. Like the gentlemen that approached me and said “f—k you” to me after a workshop I did recently.

Audience members now feel comfortable enough to give feedback in the forms of praise and support; or, critique and condemnation. Critique and condemnation are easy to give. Praise and support fade over time when immediacy of feedback (“I’m really excited about you, how can I help you now!” “Well, you can get me hired someplace else.” “…oh…ok…”) looks to the receiver like a call for more business.

I don’t know what the way forward is out of this, but I have more insight now into why it’s easier (not better) for celebrities, politicians, comedians and other performers to put up walls (psychically, socially, culturally, economically, emotionally, etc.) between themselves and the audience—after the show is over.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 06.23.2015

I have been traveling around New York state for the last three to four weeks pretty consistently and I’ve got a few thoughts:

The amazing natural beauty and landscapes of this state reflect what the original colonists saw. I can’t imagine what this state must have looked like to the original colonists who settled here from England, Germany, Scotland and even Denmark.

And no, I’m not forgetting that the Native Indigenous People were here first.

There are very real possibilities in the state of New York, but some of those possibilities have been squandered by well meaning, but misguided people. I am not opposed to the people who have decided to live in the most populous city in this country, but there are millions and millions of other people who deserve to have access, and the possibility of growth, who are in places not in New York City.

The false dichotomy—and false conflict—between those who are within (the “city”) and those who are without (“upstate”) is the most pointless and meaningless division in the history of this state. And it is easily overcome through being open to learning, innovation and true, genuine, scary growth.

I’ve got some other observations, but this is supposed to be short.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 06.16.2015

When something is missed that should have been obvious, that feels like a monumental failure.

What feels worse than that is when something is missed that should have been obvious, and no one tells the person who missed it about the mistake.

The feeling that no one is paying attention enough to point out the flaws in the design, is the same feeling that Steve Martin had playing to an empty room early in his career.

Online however, there are plenty of empty rooms, with people talking in them, but the people talking can’t see that the room is empty, the audience is slipping out and the lights are slowly being clicked off, one by one.

This is the real reason many people don’t try to do stand-up (or start blogging) but would rather attend a stand-up show, or casually consume blog content. There’s no risk of failure or shame in consumption.

There’s also no risk of humiliation, because no one read, or listened, closely enough in the first place to point out constructive criticism.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 06.09.2015

I’ve been watching (actually rewatching) the Ken Burns’ film Jazz on Netflix.

The amazing thing about this form of music is that it is uniquely American and could only have come out of the American experience and conflicts that we have had in this country around race and identity.

Music is the place where some of the worst cultural tropes and conflicts get worked out: Between the musicians in the band, the members of the audience and the listeners of the music remotely via a record—or an I-pod—a lot of gossamer is weaved.

I think that macro level conflicts in the culture can be worked out safely through the arts, in ways that don’t really translate at the interpersonal level. At the micro level though, that’s where it gets tough.

Benny Goodman, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, or even Herbie Hancock, aren’t going to come into your house and live your life for you. But the music can serve as an intermediary.

And jazz has to be lived, improvised and has to happen on the spot. Just like interpersonal conflict at the micro level.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 06.02.2015

“So, we’ve decided that we’re not going to move forward with you in the fall. We’re going in a different direction and your services are no longer required. But thanks!”

Now, in any other circumstances, this would seem like a firing. A rejection of process, approach perspective, philosophy and even self.

But, sitting in that room and hearing the news, after working for many months on this project, asking hard questions of the organization and the people in it, and taking the hard answers and making even harder recommendations, a feeling of peace flooded over me.

Most people would frame that in terms such as “delusional” or maybe even “not facing reality.”

But in the world of entrepreneurship, this is the normal way of affairs. And in the world of consulting, coaching and even corporate training, no matter how much you may love the client, you can’t love the project more than the client does.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 05.26.2015

Who wants to go back into that place?

The struggle with work is that if there is no connect between my talents, abilities and interests and the actual facts of work.

The reason entrepreneurship “fits” is because my talents, abilities and interests are so scattered and unfocused.

This “work” gives me an opportunity to explore all of my other interests, talents and abilities in the context of a structure that appears to be “traditional” but is really not.

The workplace hierarchy Is very traditional in power structure, work flow and job/task distribution.

My particular set of “skills” don’t really fit inside of such a power structure.

They never really have, and ay time I try to work inside of such a power structure, I “fail” miserably.

Who wants to go back into that place?

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 05.19.2015

As a good facilitator, when I walk into a room, I know when the crowd will be tough and when the crowd will be amenable, in about 30 seconds after I get into the room.

There are tough crowds everywhere in my life, from my house and family, to the individual interactions that I have at church.

There are two key elements I’ve found that I can focus on when overcoming the psychic weight of the tough crowd:

Never lose focus on the point you’re making.

Don’t get caught in their weeds.

A tough crowd seeks to move me for their own motives, motivations, desires and outcomes. However, there is nothing like not moving, to keep me in sharp rhetorical shape.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 05.12.2015

I get asked a lot of questions. For the most part, I try to answer many of them in the FAQ section of the HSCT website.

But then there are questions that don’t fit in the area of frequently asked questions on a website. And I’d like to answer some of those questions today.

How do you have the energy and the time to do all of this?

I don’t. I have just enough energy to get done what I can get done and I don’t really have any more than that. Typically, I am ruthless with my time and I spend a lot of days (and nights) up late doing the things that I need to do to make projects come together. I also try to keep my priorities in order. Which is about as tough as it sounds.

Do you really practice what you preach?

As much as is as humanly possible. Which is a fancy way of saying that I fail much of the time. Look, I consult and train people in how to address conflict effectively in their lives. I have many ways of addressing conflict in my own life, but there are times when my professed values fail to match up to my stated values. But none among us are righteous. No. Not one of us.

How do you handle a client in a consultation situation?

As carefully as possible. I tend to listen more and provide more assurances than when I do in a larger group setting. This is because individuals are granular. Groups are not. People in a group can sometimes be influenced by the nodding of agreement of other people in the same space. In a 1-on-1 situation, listening to the issue and providing accurate, non-circuitous advice is critical for long-term client success.

What kind of stories do you tell yourself?

Ones that are personal to me, and that reflect the parts of my identity that I’m comfortable with. Many years ago, I decided to stop being such chameleon and start being more of the “real” me. With all the vulnerabilities and problems that come with that decision.

What’s it like to be a black entrepreneur in your field?

I was thinking about the answer to this question in the context of another black entrepreneur that I know a little bit more personally than in the context of Twitter or LinkedIN. There are two models of black success—and from that black entrepreneurship—that black folks my age see:

The Bill Cosby/Generation X model—this is the model I see the most often. It’s not flashy. It’s not shiny. It’s based on the idea that a college degree, and then an advanced degree, must be attained before entrepreneurial success can even be considered. This is the model that my mother (who is 65) pioneered for me in my house and that one of my sisters’ (who is 43 this year), followed—or at least tried to. For that generation, entrepreneurship was something that was only considered after a “fall back” was already established in some kind of way.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/Jay-Z Model—this is the model that many black entrepreneurs look up too. It’s the model based on leveraging another talent (Jay-Z leveraged money from record sales and other areas to produce other artists’ work and to eventually buy a stake in many other ventures); and then using that money to do something else. Kanye and Will Smith have done this well. Sports stars such as Michael Jordan and LeBron are doing the same thing. The other piece of the model is based in an idea that you may be able to stumble into something if you are fortunate enough to have a “Bill Cosby” like rich uncle.

In the field of peacemaking there are many black people doing great work under both of these models; or doing great work in a hybrid of two of these models (or more). But for me, as a black entrepreneur in the space of peace making and peace building, sometime it’s a lonely walk.

There are so many tools and techniques that are laying around that all the old models are going away. That’s the nature of my game.

-Peace Be With You All-