In the continuing effort to add the most value to your life that we possibly can here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT), we are bringing back Pastor Joe Coudriet of Southern Tier Family Life Church (STFLC) based out of Binghamton, NY.
This is the second part of his blog post (interrupted last week by our observations and reactions from volunteering in the OKC area) focusing on negative communication patterns.
And, as our national holiday of July 4th approaches, family, friends and others will be communicating, hopefully with positive communication patterns.
But if not, well…here’s Pastor Joe…
Last time, I talked about facing the negative patterns of communication that effect our relationships by first being true to them; meaning owning them. It can be tough and it can hurt, but like the words of the song says, it can ‘hurt so good’ if we’ll deal with them straight up.
I want to move in the direction of replacing the negative with the positive but before we can we have to see what needs corrected.
How do we deal with anger and negative emotions.
First of all, anger is not a thing, it’s a feeling. Anger has no power in and of itself unless you bring action to it; to get ‘angry.’ Getting ‘angry’ can happen in our heads or manifest through our actions and when they do, we likely hurt ourselves and others. And, who wants that?
So, when you are feeling ‘anger’ or experiencing negative emotions, learn to do the following things:
1-Wait 3 minutes and do nothing. This can give the mind, and the spirit, time to kick in to bring clarity.
2-Link your desire to respond with a thought about what that ‘action’ would bring about (more anger, hurt to you or others) and,
3-Combat the thought, immediately or after the 3 minute wait, by speaking something positive; a blessing, an observation, whatever.
Just because you get angry, or experience negative emotions, doesn’t mean that you have to empower those feelings.
Face them, consider the consequences of acting on them and replace them.
Check out the STLFC website at www.stflc.org and their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/STFLC?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser.
Or, if you’re in the Southern Tier Area on a Sunday morning from 10am-12pm, stop by the Boys and Girls Club of Binghamton, NY, and attend service.
-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
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