HIT Piece 12.01.2015

Quantity doesn’t equal quality, or so we’ve been told.

Garbage can only result—either in communicated messages or in widgets—when there is too much of it, appealing to too broad an audience, with too little purpose. Obviously, this is leading to new disruptions, new conflicts and new frictions, and new laments of a lack of “standards” in messages, or a retreat to obfuscation, jargon and hiding.

And yet, there are 157 million blogs and 1.5 million pieces of blog content created daily.

Is that a sign of quality or a sign of too much quantity?

Actually, I think that it’s more a sign that finally there is enough choice, content, and messages, for the consumer to decide the answers to three questions:

What is quality for them, according to their standards?
What entertains them right now, according to their needs?
What will interest them next, according to their interests?

From the perspective of the gatekeeper and the creator (who used to have quite a cozy relationship in the past) this new customer centric view of quality versus quantity, can seem binding, demeaning and disheartening.

The new courage for the content creator is to be committed and consistent, rather than being engaged in quality control.

The new courage for the gatekeeper is to either lead the consumer (through creating walled gardens and curating communications to determine “quality” ) or to follow the consumer (through continuing the long-standing tradition of doling out “critical acclaim” and awards and recognition).

In all communications, it’s now the consumer (or the receiver) of the message who determines the message’s quality, rather than the creator (or the sender) of the message.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 11.24.2015

Having an “attitude of gratitude” is what Thanksgiving is all about.

But, it’s hard to demonstrate (and act on) gratitude in the hardest mission field in the world, when the average person is wealthier, healthier, and wiser than just three short generations ago.

Gratitude comes from knowing from whom everything comes, and knowing to whom to say “thank you” to. But too often, two things prevent people from saying “thank you” to each other:

Expectations

And

More.

Expectations I’ve addressed in this space before, but around Thanksgiving, they are particularly pernicious in the context of the “more” revolution. This has occurred subtly over the last few years in America and consists of a combination of commercialism, comfort, and cheap money. With these three elements in place, the average person wants more than they have, and struggles to find the meaning in having less than they think that they should have.

Humility is the cure for all of this, and having an “attitude of gratitude” is the way that Thanksgiving should be celebrated, as much for what you have been gifted with having—and for what has been kept away.

I’ll be thankful for both, even as I realize that the cranberry sauce has stuffing in it.

-Peace Be With You All-

[Advice] How To “Make A Ruckus”

There are two ways to “make a ruckus,” if you want to:

The first way is to be generous, give away your knowledge and spiritual wealth (and maybe even your material wealth if you are led to) and to collaborate with others to use the power you have gained to help others less powerful.

The second way is to race to the bottom on price and cost, worry about the corners and the fractions of an inch, to create/lobby for regulatory environments that favor incumbents, to use power as a weapon and to deny the human individual, and only look at the masses.

One way leads to abundance and an ownership mindset, no matter what environment or context you happen to be in.

One way leads to scarcity of resources and a perpetual employee mindset, no matter what environment or context you happen to be in.

Envy arises in individuals and groups of one mindset when they observe the physical, external manifestations of an internal set of choices. This feeling of envy, based in fear, clouds judgement, and leads to the false premise behind some conflicts. These conflicts—that are really about mindsets and values rather than about material resources—can almost never be resolved, they can only be engaged with—or moved on from.

If you want to “make a ruckus,” you have to make three decisions first:

What kind of mindset do you want to have?
What kind of environment or context will create the circumstances for acting on that mindset?
What kind of outcomes are you willing to advocate to advance, to protect and to reject?

It’s easy to say “I make a ruckus.” It’s not that easy to do.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 11.17.2015

If you believe that building this project consists of a series of straight lines, then you are thinking too linearly.

The 2^nd best moment in the Wizard of OZ, occurs when Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and Toto all return to the Wizard’s palace in Oz. They walk down the long hallway to see the Wizard, with Dorothy carrying the broom of the Wicked Witch, and they are shown into a room with a giant, green head.

The head of the Wizard talks at them, shoots fire, belches smoke and is—in general—putting on quite the show. And, while Dorothy and the humanoid elements of her crew are frightened and trembling in front of this massively intimidating sight, Toto—the dog—is not. Toto runs to the back of the room (as “yippee” dogs are wont to do) and proceeds to pull back the curtain. Of course, what is revealed is neither belching, nor smoking, nor particularly scary. It is merely a man, pulling levers, pushing buttons and creating a mirage of order within a background of chaos.

The levers, buttons, and pulleys that I pull, push and lean on daily to get Human Services Consulting and Training off the ground, create “behind the scenes” chaos that only a few people get to see.

Trust me, it’s chaotic back here.

But, the orderly outcome that’s put out on the front end is not a humbug—unlike the Wizard, I do not seek to send you on a meaningless, dangerous quest, to intimidate or to frighten—it is instead, a chance for you to learn something about me, the process of building peace and to ask some challenging questions.

Human Services Consulting and Training is a project built on a series of experiments. Some launch. Many don’t. Some are placed in the background until the “time is right” to reveal them. Some are out front right now, like this here and this here. In the space of building a business, and building a life, there are both straight lines and curvy roads. The key is to not fall off either one of them.

And, to be open, and vulnerable enough to acknowledge the dog when it barks and pulls back the curtain a little bit.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 11.10.2015

There’s a philosophical idea at the heart of mediation—and most conflict resolution services and processes—that the person who acts as the “third party” should be neutral in a conflict between two parties.

Neutrality is a tough concept for parties to accept, which is why many parties prefer to retain the services of an advocate or, further out, a judge.

Neutrality is a tough concept to accept because, deep in our conflict scenarios, lies competing desires to both be right, and to win.

Neutrality is a tough concept to accept because, many people in conflict can’t see themselves as being neutral participants in their own conflicts, much less acting neutrality in the face of other people’s conflicts.

Advocacy is an easier concept to accept (as is rendering judgment) because giving help and rendering empathy are a deep part of the relational aspects of conflict. They are reinforced through social proofing and other means.

The role of the third party as neutral is the hardest role in a conflict scenario and the philosophical structure of neutrality has not been fully justified as a need to a Western public, much less to many individuals in the field of which I am a part. At the philosophical heart of resolving conflict is this ephemeral search for a truly, deeply neutral third party.

The search will continue, for as long as conflicts are relational, neutrality will be the ineffable goal.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 11.03.2015

If you haven’t seen the film Election, directed by Alexander Payne and starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, go get it on Netflix and stream in right now.

[HIT Piece] 11.03.2015

The script, from the movie released in 1999, shows the results and feedback loop that power, strategy and the ruthless pursuit of position can have in electoral politics.

And all wrapped up in the context of a high school student government election in Omaha, Nebraska. The director, Alexander Payne has directed many other films and brings a European sensitivity to Midwestern American dramatic situations, people and aesthetics.

In light of the results of your local elections yesterday and in light of the current political gamesmanship going on in American electoral national politics, it’s worth looking at.

And all before the era of social media, virality, the commonality of cell phones, and even the ubiquity of the Internet.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 10.27.2015

There are not many ways to grow (or scale) past merely being a solo entrepreneur, freelancer, or consultant.

You can “productize” a process (see Brian Casel’s approach for more about this), or you can develop a product that you can sell repeatedly, such as a workshop, or even a seminar.
You can begin to charge more for developing a process or a product for a client (Seth Godin promotes this approach), but that only generates more revenues, which conflates the illusion of growth with the presence of revenues.
You can take on larger and larger clients, with larger and larger contracts, which give the illusion of running a business, but is really just expensive freelance labor. And when the project (no matter its size) is over, then you have to let the people you hired go. Or try to get an equal size, or bigger, contract for the next go around.
You can also develop a software product, funded through business revenues, that supports a piece of a business process and then sell that solution to other solo entrepreneurs, freelancers and consultants.
You can produce white papers, blog content, e-books, audio content (podcasts, audio white papers, etc.), or even self-publish a book and put it out through Amazon. And then you can create more workshops and content around that.

But at some point, the solo entrepreneur, freelancer or consultant must hire other people to grow and must begin generating significant profits to support other people’s livelihoods, or else what you do remains as confining as the employment you left to start your project. Inspirational speakers from Zig Ziglar to Tony Robbins have made the leap. So have many others.

It’s a hard jump.

The hard part to solve with what I do, the way that I do it, through Human Services Consulting and Training is there are three elements for me to consider before growing to be large enough to potentially hire another person to do the work I do now:

Business philosophy – I want to hire somebody who is ethical and who will have such an ethical compass that they will be able to spot problems before even I see them. Not cautious, just prudent.

Personal philosophy – I want to hire somebody who has a strong, positive, moral core: The question “What will you do so that we can make a profit together?” has to be answered in a moral fashion, rather than just a financial one. After all, when (not if) an immoral choice has consequences, the name on the front door is mine. Not theirs.

Societal philosophy – I want to hire somebody who can believe, exemplify and live, the societal philosophy that’s on the back of all of my business cards “Helping YOU ethically attain PEACE in your life.” This is a societal call for peace through self-awareness first, and everything else second.

Even without these three considerations, scaling would be hard. Which is why so many solo entrepreneurs, freelancers, and consultants stay singular, stay small, and are frustrated by the level of impact they have in their niche—and outside of it.

I’m not frustrated. And I’m not in a hurry. I’m out here walking around, looking around for someone.

See: [Genesis 18:23-33] for a living example of this conundrum.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 10.20.2015 – On Coming Out of The Dip

No one tells you when you’ve come out of the dip.

No one tells you when “the worst is over.”

When a storm passes of epic (or sub-epic) proportions, human beings poke their collective heads out of their collective homes, caves, hovels and shells, and collectively sigh a sigh of collective relief.

Then they repair the damage, pick up the pieces of their lives, their homes, their communities and move on.

Or not.

But the moving on has to come from an internal source. When an external voice tells a person to “move on” or “just get over it,” or “this will all seem better at the end” human beings tend to reject those statements because they feel to the hearer as facile as they sound coming from the speaker.

I’ve said those statements to other people in the dip, in crisis moments, and in the aftermath of trauma. I have said them after searching my heart and my mind for something profound to say that would sum up the feelings surrounding the surviving of a moment, a dip or “when the worst is over.”

I’ve failed miserably and repeatedly said those words to other people.

And now, that I’m coming out of my own year and a half long dip with my business, I feel that those sentiments are just as fruitless for me to say to myself in my own head, on repeat as they are for me to say to others.

No one tells you when you’ve come out of the dip.

No one tells you when “the worst is over.”

You have to hope that telling yourself is good enough to prepare you psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually (not to mention materially) for the next dip.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 10.13.2015 – 7 Areas Of Influence

There are seven areas–or “rules”–of psychology, studied by Robert Cialdini, “lock in” to each other in a hierarchical, top down structure and create a context for persuasion and influence to be effective. They are as follows:

Reciprocation – the rule that states we should repay, in kind, what another person has provided to us
Commitment and Consistency – the rule that states that once we take a stand, we will encounter personal, interpersonal and social pressures to behave consistently with our position, even if we change our minds
Social Proof – the rule states that we determine what is correct by finding out what other people think is correct
Liking – the rule states that we would prefer to say “yes” to those whom we personally like
Authority – the rule states that we follow orders when people in authority give us orders whether we agree with the order or not, or like the person, or not
Scarcity – the rule states that opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited
Consensus—The rule of consensus states that people need to “be on the same side” (or at least enough of them) to be able to “get to agreement” around an idea

Look again at the seven areas.

Peace building and creating agreements around the negotiation table relies on these seven areas moving together, the next building inexorably on top of the last, so that the other party is convinced that a negotiated agreement is the best outcome for all parties involved.

As I have been writing this blog for going on three years now, the one question I used to get asked the most (“How do you get the energy to do what you do?”) has faded and now there is a sense of a desire for commitment and consistency. Cautious desire for continued commitment and consistency is evident now, when I talk about this blog, and all my other content development efforts. Because after three years, I’ve moved from mere reciprocation (I give you “free” content, you give me your email) to commitment and consistency (I show up and write everyday).

The social media following I have built is partly based on social proofing, but also based on liking and a sense of authority. Because, the thinking goes, “No one would blog consistently for three years about conflict management if they weren’t at least committed.”

The mindset of scarcity though, still dominates many in my audience, and truth be told, I have felt the fear of it as well. But it only comes when I launch something new, like the podcast, or adopt a different perspective on an old area and then publish that perspective.

Consensus is the last on the list, because it’s the last one to develop. Influence grows when consensus is cemented.

Peace builders know all about consensus and struggle against it in their personal, business and professional lives, even as they seek it for their clients and people in conflict.

After all, negotiation is all about getting to consensus.

Right?

The seven areas have been dominate on my mind for a while now as my following and voice grows. The only one I worry about is the consistency one.

Because that’s the only area that I have control over.

Just like it’s the only true area that you have control over in your life.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 10.06.2015

Jack Nicholson asked a question in a movie back in the 1990’s that sums up the fears that I have now.

And it’s a good legitimate question (as far as that can take a movie question), but the premise behind it is ultimately flawed, thus making it not that good of a query.

The question comes from a place of self-agency and fear.

A place of doubt and tribulation.

The question is asked by a character (for after all, Jack is an actor and inhabits a character, not the other way around) who’s movie reality is perilous at best.

But there is truth in fiction. Sometimes more truth, than even in the fact that we live our daily lives in. And, I’m a huge fan of movies anyway, so of course this is implanted in my mind and floats up, unbidden, in times of doubt.

“What if this is as good as it gets?”

Metrics, KPIs, measurements, means testing and outcomes based research are all great for attempting to quiet the deeply animal parts of our brains. The parts that scream at us. The parts that are fueled by fear of the future, a desire for selfish comfort and possess a belief only in our own agency, rather than collaboration with others.

This moment, right now, isn’t as good as it gets. The premise is flawed, and thus the question can be rejected, as well as any conclusions that come forth from it.

-Peace Be With You All-