HIT Piece 1.26.2016

The noise of the world seeks to crowd out the silence of being alone. The modern world eschews being alone as a sign of some sort of pathology, but this is merely more crowding out.

A leader, thinker, or developer of any kind needs to be alone to be effective. In the silence of being alone, one can learn to motivate others and yourself. Schedules, calendars, emails, all of these create background chatter that move, push, and manipulate many people into feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and never done.

I love it when my character evolves, and is challenged, in the sounds of silence, which I seek to make more space for in my work life, even as my responsibilities increase. This silence—and creating and preserving the conditions for such silence to begin and endure—is where all the work is.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 1.19.2015

When I’m blogging, I’m working.

When I’m recording a podcast interview, I’m working.

When I’m in a pitch meeting with a potential client, I’m working.

When I’m facilitating a training, I’m working.

When I’m designing a training for a client until 1am in the morning, I’m working.

When I’m surfing the Internet researching a business idea, I’m working.

When I’m on Skype talking with a potential client in another space, I’m working.

When I’m answering your email, I’m working.

When I’m making a follow-up phone call, I’m working.

When I’m at a networking event talking to you, I’m working.

When I’m reading a blog post, news article, or insight on my phone and it looks like I’m ignoring you, I’m working.

When I’m Tweeting, Facebook-ing, or otherwise engaging on social media, I’m working.

I’m not working when I’m at the movie theatre with my kids. Or, sitting on the couch with my wife. Or, when I’m cooking dinner and listening to jazz music. Or, when I’m reading a book.

I only actually get paid for one of those things on that list above. But without all the other things on the list, I can’t do the one thing well enough to add value to your organization so that you pay me.

Trust me…I’m working…

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT:jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 1.12.2016

I was watching a documentary about boxing last night.

Boxing is based on four major assumptions that have stood it in good stead as a popular sport in America—until its relatively recent dethroning by MMA.

The first assumption is that all good boxers come from backgrounds of poverty, violence and crime, and that they work their way out of those situations through force of will.

The second assumption is that the audience is electrified by the external fight against the opponent in the ring; whereas each individual boxer is in the ring to see if he can “go the distance” and win the internal fight.

The third assumption is that the business that supports the boxers and the economic system built around the fighter who is taking all the risk, is an inherently corrupt and unethical system, built on deceit, lies, and greed.

The last assumption is that boxers are going to get injured (concussions, Alzheimer’s, broken bones, etc.) because the inherent nature of the sport is brutality for the sake of spectacle.

The boxers featured in the documentary, from Evander Holyfield to Bernard Hopkins, all lived out either some or all of these assumptions in one way or the other and became changed by all of them. And it got me thinking:

What assumptions am I operating under?
What fights are the audience watching me “win” publicly, when the greatest battles are the ones that they don’t ever see?
What words were spoken over my life when I was a child by my parents, the neighborhood, the friends I had, that influenced me to get to where I am today?
What is the economic system that supports (or hinders) the business that I’m in of making peace?
What am I risking (physically, financially, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, etc.) in order to “go the distance” and can I do it, or will I declare, just before I would’ve won the fight “no mas”?

There’s no “Old-Timers” Day at the retirement home for boxers. Many end up broken—physically, financially, and spiritually—but for those individual men, fighting was the only way out of death.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 1.5.2016

Well, it’s a New Year and here are some new hits:

It’s time to start saying “no” more often: This doesn’t mean that I’ll be saying “no” to every opportunity that comes along, but it does mean that there is going to be a newly instituted “three strikes and you’re out” mentality and behavior moving forward. It’s amazing to me that more professionals don’t say “no” when they are treated shabbily by large clients. Integrity and respect matter more this year.

It’s time to clean out my email inbox: With two (and upwards of three) different email accounts I juggle daily; last year was a time suck of epic proportions around email. I have started 2016 by deleting 19,276 emails from my “promotions” tab in Gmail. And that’s not an exaggeration.

It’s time to write more often: After working with an editor on my upcoming project, I have become more convinced that second drafts of blog posts are the way to go, rather than what I did last year too often. As a matter of fact, this is a second draft right here…

It’s time to read more books (that relate to where I want to go, versus where I am right now): Last year I read a lot, but this year, I’d like the reading to be more targeted, like The Consulting Bible by Alan Weiss. This book I started over the holiday and it’s been kicking my butt.

It’s time to be done by 6pm (or 7pm): The nights that my kids are home (and I’ve been at home grinding all day) I should be done by 6pm. Yes, I know that Gary Vaynerchuk and many others promote the grind and the 8pm to 12am philosophy of working, but I get up at 5am, so….

It’s time to be more “real” in my blog writing (and to get someone else to build a website/manage it for me): I spent an unconscionable number of hours last year on the back end of the website that supports this blog. But I’m not a webmaster, web designer, or web consultant. I’m a conflict engagement consultant, corporate trainer, and social media marketer for peace builders. It’s time to outsource the rest of it.

It’s time to “get real” about video, streaming and otherwise: Yes. I know about the upside down economics of working on YouTube’s farm. And I realize that less than 2.5% of the country has even heard of Periscope, Meerkat, Vine, Twitter Video, Snapchat Video, or realizes that Facebook rolled out video on their platform in the 4Q of 2015.

But I know.

And I know what they’re about and the utility (or lack thereof in some cases) of the applications to my business.

It’s time to travel more—for business: Last year, I logged close to 10,000 miles in travel. Just around the state of NY alone. I need to expand beyond the state of NY and expand into air travel, which means more targeted focus in the last area.

It’s time to meet my audience (both in person and digitally) and to engage with them more: The audience is everything and I need to meet them more. I know who my fans are, and I know what they like, by virtue of which blog posts they share, like and comment on. So, I’d like to meet them in person, to grow the network, grow the engagement and to talk with them about the upcoming projects and products, I’ve been developing and will be launching in mid-1Q, mid-2Q and mid 3Q. Stay tuned…

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 12.29.2015

And the hits just keep on coming.

The end of the year makes people take stock of what they’ve done and who they’ve helped (or hurt) in the year that has passed.

I’m no different in that respect.

However, where I am a little different from some others is that I take stock of the future, rather than the past.

There are all kinds of opportunities available if you’re not bound by your past. If, instead of looking at the past constantly, seeking reassurance, righteous judgment, or even retribution upon thiose4 who have injured you, you instead focus on de4veloping talents skills and abilities to meet the rising road ahead of you.

Many people are bound by the past. And I’m a big fan of history.

This year, in this space, I have used this platform to talk about the past and to encourage and spur my audience on toward the future. The future is, in many ways, an even scarier place than the past, because it seems as though here is no map to get there.

And the hits just keep on coming.

My take on 2016 is that, for many of us, it will be more of the same: The same arguments, the same disagreements, the same fights, the same confrontations. Because too many of us focus too hard on the past and not hard enough on the future.

And I will keep documenting my changes, as I try different things and different methods, hopefully leading to different (but not necessarily always better) outcomes for both myself and the people around me.

More introspection.

More self-awareness.

More HITs.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 12.22.2015

My wife will tell you that I never take “time off.”

She’ll say there’s no “break from this project” and she’ll tell you that many of my interactions with other people only demarcate interruptions between email, social platform updates, blog posts, product development ideas, and new business operations ideas. Some that might pan out—many that might not.

My in-laws will tell you I’m obsessive about work. And so will my children. That I never “unplug” or I am “always on the computer.” My immediate family will say that I seem distracted and antsy when I’m not working on cracking some project.

They’re not wrong.

It’s hard to be in this project alone, because, even though many people think that it looks romantic from the outside, to truly become even a moderately large sized force in the arena of conflict engagement and corporate training, the person in the arena has to be dedicated 24/7.

Now, to answer the objections, yes, I understand that material success is nothing without relationships that matter to share it with. And I am doing a better job than I was last year at actually trying to “dial in” to family moments, breaks and respites.

But I’m doing what I love, and I don’t know any other way to get to those outsized rewards in the minimal time that I have left on this planet, than to pursue the results of that love really, really hard for just a little while.

And I do take “time off.” Today is my annual retreat day, where I go to the mattresses (as Clemenza pointed out to Michael in The Godfather) and take some time away from the grind of the day-to-day and reflect on what I’ve done well, what I’ve done mediocrely, and what I haven’t done at all…

Now, I’m headed to Barnes and Noble. It’s the place to unwind, at least while they’re still around.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 12.15.2015

Two topic areas that have been popping up a lot for me lately in business conversations:

“People” lack follow-up
“People” lack initiative.

The first lament goes something like this: “I (the business person in question) reached out to “so and so” (another business person) and they didn’t get back to me. And I called them and called them and they didn’t show up or return my phone calls or emails.”

This first has happened to me more times than I can count with potential clients, clients I’ve actually had meetings with, and with clients I’m attempting to do a deal with.

The second lament goes something like this: “ ‘People’ [and then imagine someone sucking air through their teeth, squinting their eyes and sighing all at the same time] just don’t have the initiative or drive around here to do what you’re asking them to do. What you’re proposing won’t work…”

The second issue of initiative I chalk up to the fact that very few people have a motor driving them into business, and the difference between people who are “making it” and people who “aren’t” is the presence (or absence) of said motor.

These two laments I almost never hear from people in geographic areas that are cities, or even suburbs of cities. But in rural areas, small towns, or even villages consolidated across a major highway, you will sit down with the few people in town who are able to follow-up and have initiative and I will hear these two laments.

The future is coming and it’s not going to arrive everywhere all at the same time. The future is going to be driven by the people who have initiative first, and then second by the people who have the desire and the courage to follow-up. Without reassurance, without lack of faith, without a competitive desire to “get what’s theirs” first.

The income gap between the wealthy and everyone else is definitely something to think about overcoming; but the initiative and follow-up gap is something no one (outside of private conversations) is even thinking about shifting at mass.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 12.08.0215

All great failings have moral and ethical failure at their core.

Morals and ethics inform, codify and frame behavioral stories we tell ourselves from our birth to the day that we die. Our morals and ethics lie at the root of the causal chain of behavior.

Where morals and ethics emanate from (or what stories animate them) is far less interesting a thought process, than understanding how those morals and ethics sift and change over time. And why.

Always why.

I am concerned with both the how and the why of those moral and ethical stories, because if we look around carefully and astutely, we can see that the noise informing the changing of our internal stories is having an external impact.

Many people don’t think about the moral and ethical failures that lie at the core of truly great failings—the ones that lead to divorce, desperation, depression—but there should be more exploration of the how and the why.

If not, our disagreements, disputes, arguments and more will be constantly tinged with the color of moral and ethical failure, but we won’t really understand—or learn—why.

And, thus be destined–or doomed–to repeat the same failure over again.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 12.01.2015

Quantity doesn’t equal quality, or so we’ve been told.

Garbage can only result—either in communicated messages or in widgets—when there is too much of it, appealing to too broad an audience, with too little purpose. Obviously, this is leading to new disruptions, new conflicts and new frictions, and new laments of a lack of “standards” in messages, or a retreat to obfuscation, jargon and hiding.

And yet, there are 157 million blogs and 1.5 million pieces of blog content created daily.

Is that a sign of quality or a sign of too much quantity?

Actually, I think that it’s more a sign that finally there is enough choice, content, and messages, for the consumer to decide the answers to three questions:

What is quality for them, according to their standards?
What entertains them right now, according to their needs?
What will interest them next, according to their interests?

From the perspective of the gatekeeper and the creator (who used to have quite a cozy relationship in the past) this new customer centric view of quality versus quantity, can seem binding, demeaning and disheartening.

The new courage for the content creator is to be committed and consistent, rather than being engaged in quality control.

The new courage for the gatekeeper is to either lead the consumer (through creating walled gardens and curating communications to determine “quality” ) or to follow the consumer (through continuing the long-standing tradition of doling out “critical acclaim” and awards and recognition).

In all communications, it’s now the consumer (or the receiver) of the message who determines the message’s quality, rather than the creator (or the sender) of the message.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 11.24.2015

Having an “attitude of gratitude” is what Thanksgiving is all about.

But, it’s hard to demonstrate (and act on) gratitude in the hardest mission field in the world, when the average person is wealthier, healthier, and wiser than just three short generations ago.

Gratitude comes from knowing from whom everything comes, and knowing to whom to say “thank you” to. But too often, two things prevent people from saying “thank you” to each other:

Expectations

And

More.

Expectations I’ve addressed in this space before, but around Thanksgiving, they are particularly pernicious in the context of the “more” revolution. This has occurred subtly over the last few years in America and consists of a combination of commercialism, comfort, and cheap money. With these three elements in place, the average person wants more than they have, and struggles to find the meaning in having less than they think that they should have.

Humility is the cure for all of this, and having an “attitude of gratitude” is the way that Thanksgiving should be celebrated, as much for what you have been gifted with having—and for what has been kept away.

I’ll be thankful for both, even as I realize that the cranberry sauce has stuffing in it.

-Peace Be With You All-