[Opinion] What We Subsidize…

What a society taxes it gets less of, and what a society subsidizes it gets more of.

For various social, economic, psychological, emotional, and other reasons, societies around the world, throughout history, have taxed peace, while subsidizing war.

This is not a statement of judgment, just one of objective observation.

We honor dead soldiers, and only occasionally talk about dead peacemakers.

We have thousands of anonymous soldiers who go out and make war, as we have thousands of anonymous peacemakers, who go out and make peace every day. But only one group has a flame burning eternally for them at Arlington Cemetery in the US.

We honor the dead soldier, because we (and by ‘we’ I mean humanity as whole) value valor, honor, respect, dignity, and the ideals of revenge and justice, far more than we revere those same values at the peacemaking table. This dichotomy is the most obvious at scale, where there are holidays honoring the sacrifice of life of the soldier, but no parades in your town for the generations of deceased divorce mediators.

These are not a statements of judgment, just ones of factual observation.

When we do choose to honor the diplomat, or the statesman, who brought us peace, we tend to honor the ones most vociferously who also guided us through war. Churchill is lauded far more than Chamberlain.

Unfortunately, as was pointed out years ago by the band Pink Floyd, the statesmen turned diplomats are the very same ones who sat in the rear of the line (or sat in an office back at home) and commanded “Go forward!” even as the soldiers in front, out on the line, died by the thousands.

Young men have always died valiantly fighting old men’s wars.

The fact is, we will always have more people willing to make war, than we will have people willing to make peace. This is a sad fact of the fallen state of humanity.

This is not a statement of judgment, just one of spiritual observation.

On this Memorial Day, let us take a moment to remember those who made the peace, as well as honor those who fell in the war, because, if humanity is to move forward in any kind of meaningful way, we need to subsidize the peace, and place a higher tax on the war.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Systems of the 21st Century

For many organizations, the 21^st century has proven to be pretty much the same as the 20^th century.

People still get hired and fired in much the same ways that they did 20 years ago.

Organizations and businesses still do the core processes of their businesses—sales, finance, marketing, accounting—in the same way that they did—with some minor cosmetic changes—30 years ago.

And, unfortunately, organizations and businesses still handle conflict in the same way that they did 30 years ago. They still view conflict as a process rather than as a product.

They still view the resolution of conflicts—however they are resolved—as “the way we do things around here.” This is reflected in either the avoidance of the process, the accommodation of the tradition of the process, or the attacking of outside interveners with new ideas as “not understanding how we do things here.”

Many organizations still pay outside consultants or have internal offices and departments, designed to “handle” conflicts in the ways that the organization sees as comfortable and preserving the status quo.

In order to do the brave work of the 21^st century, peacemakers must become more and more involved in developing bleeding edge systems for organizations, because the changes to systems that on the surface appear cosmetic, will have deep ramifications for the future.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Trust Me

“Trust me. I got this.”

If there is any other phrase that precedes a sense of oncoming dread and mistrust, it’s this one.

If there is a statement that preceded eventual conflict more than any other, we aren’t aware of it.

Trust, when freely given, often operates as a noun, describing a person, place, thing or an animal. In such a context, trust transforms a relationship from one level and moves it into a far more intimate level.

However, in the above statement, trust transforms from a noun to a verb, requiring the giver to transform into a passive actor in their own drama. In such a context, trust transfers control from an active actor, engaged with their own outcomes, to another active actor whose motives may not be—well—trustworthy.

The sender of the phrase is looking to reassure the receiver and, typically, this sentence means that the reassurance is not working.

The professional peacebuilder should probably avoid the transformation of trust from an active noun to a passive verb, unless the relationship that she is building is long-term enough to warrant such a change.

Otherwise, she’s just asking for trouble.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

On Insurgency

On this day, in 1776 an insurgency began.

Think about it:

Tweet: The world’s largest empire at the time was categorically rejected by a country with almost no standing military,no domestic governmental structure and no hope of ever defeating the much larger empire.

The insurgency was formulated by men who had multiple goals and motivations (as do all men, at all times) but the ultimate mission of all of their goals was the establishing of a country founded in a set of principles.

The insurgency took over 200 years to become established as apple pie, Mom and, well…the flag.

Makes you wonder where all of the modern insurgencies going on now will end up in 200 years.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Blog: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

Would You Rather Be Right or Be Reconciled?

A Christian approach to peacemaking revolves around three behavioral encouragements that are very simple to talk and to write about, by very hard to practically accomplish.

Believers are encouraged to confront first one at a time, then in two’s, then in the sight of the church.
Believers are encouraged to confront in love and to seek understanding first, rather than judgment.
Believers are encouraged to avoid confronting in the law first (via litigation) and to instead confront in the Spirit.

Think about how often we get into conflicts—in the workplace, in our families, even in our churches—and how rarely we exercise the first step of positive confrontation.

The initial step is hard, confrontation, because we would sometimes rather be right, than be reconciled.

But when we favor “rightness” over reconciliation, we do not allow the better angels of our nature to truly work on our hearts.

Would you rather be right, or be reconciled?

[See: KJV Matthew 5:21-26; Luke 17:3-4; Romans 12:18; Matthew 18:15-17]

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

HSCT Retreats From Repealing Conflict Question

“How many people in this room have a conflict in their lives?”

We ask this question as part of our 30 second elevator speech describing who we are, what we do and what our approach to conflict is here at HSCT, every time we stand up at a networking event.

From rooms as small as four people to rooms with as many as one hundred people, no one yet has raised their hands.

We’ll keep asking, but, we recall that, even back into Biblical times, conflict existed.

James, Jesus’ brother pointed out in his gospel (4:1-3) that wars and fightings occur among people because of the desires (in the original King James version, the word used is “lusts”) that do battle inside of us.

And yet, no one ever raises their hand.

Poor—or no—communication leads to conflict.
Differences in priorities, values, goals, talents and opinions lead to conflict.
Competition over perceived limited resources leads to conflict.
And,of course, knowing what to do, and doing the opposite, leads to conflict. In the Bible, this is called “sin.”

Sometimes the worst types of conflicts, such as—well—wars and fightings, come about because of sinful actions, desires and behaviors.

So why are so many people unwilling to answer the question we pose honestly?

Well, it’s hard to admit that conflict exists, particularly if the person admitting to it doesn’t perceive there to be a conflict.

It’s also hard if the other party refuses to acknowledge that there is even a problem in the first place.

Finally, admitting to having a conflict requires us to be vulnerable, and there is no place we’d rather not be vulnerable, than in front of our peers at a networking event.

So, we’ll ask at the end of this blog post:

“How many people in this room have a conflict in their lives?”

[Thanks to Ken Sande. Check out his book here.]

-Peace Be With You All-

The Duke

At the SOHO Small Business Show in Syracuse, NY, we had to begin the mediation process with John Wayne.

It did not begin as well as we hoped it would…

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

An Equation for Life

At a certain point, in every speaking engagement we embark on here at HSCT, we are asked one of two questions:

“How is it that you have so much energy?”

And/or

“Where do you find the time to get everything done that you do?”

Also, we are accused of being too intense in our approaches to navigating conflict communication, making sure mediators and peace builders engage in entrepreneurship, and in making the point that the future is coming, whether we are prepared for it or not.

Three things:

Time: We here at HSCT have the same number of hours in a day—24 by last count—that Socrates, Einstein, and Elon Musk had and have. And so do you.
Passion: The word comes from the Latin root meaning “to suffer.” So, graduates, when you are told to “follow your passion,” what those well-meaning speakers are really telling you is “do your suffering.” We work hard here at HSCT.
Energy and Intensity: We believe in the value of the education and life experience that we have acquired over time. We believe in the value of our perspective and approach to business, entrepreneurship and peace building, and the validity of our knowledge and resources.

Finally, when all that belief, time well spent, and passion come together, we believe that we have no choice but to burn brighter than the Sun, with every chance we get.

Energy=Passion+Intensity+Belief/Time

A simple equation.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

The Human Services Consulting and Training Blog has been Nominated for the Liebster Award!

The Human Services Consulting and Training Blog has been nominated for the Liebster Award by Anastasia Priyanikova of The Brain Alchemist.

Anastasia is the founder of E-Studio, LLC, a coaching, training and consulting company that translates neuroscience insights into tools and solutions in the areas of communication, conflict management, public speaking, presenting, and transmedia storytelling.

She is a co-founder of Bookphoria, a multimedia and transmedia project that enables authors, experts and speakers to convert their books and expert content into online courses and multimedia products to grow their information business and communities of practice. I have had the pleasure of seeing Anastasia present and I look forward to working with her more in the future.

The Liebster Award personifies “paying it forward,” collaboration and the further development of the connection economy and I am honored to take part in it.

Here are the rules for the Liebster Award. To accept the award:

Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog and link back to the blogger who presented this award to you.
Answer the 10 questions from the nominator.
Nominate 10 blogs and create 10 questions for your nominees.

Now…ONTO THE QUESTIONS!!!

What inspired you to start blogging?

I wanted to get exposure for ideas that I have had running around in my head for years on topics ranging from mediation best practices to marketing and entrepreneurship. I also like to talk and write so it seemed like a natural progression.

What do you hope to achieve with your blog?

I hope that readers and followers will read my words and ideas and pass them on to others. I hope that the HSCT Communication Blog will be a seed in the vast soil of the Internet and begin to be watered and grow for the benefit of all.

What are three attributes that best describe your blog?

Wordy. Wordy. Wordy. I have a constitutional inability to write in small snippets. I’m working on the language part to, expressing big ideas, simply.

How do you nurture your creative side?

I read. A LOT. I used to draw and make fine art prints, but it’s tough to get studio time these days. I also hang out with my wife, who is a professional photographer and my kids.

What are you reading right now?

Where to start?

Predictive Analytics by Eric Siegel
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian, and Al Switzler
Jab, Jab, Right Hook by Gary Vaynerchuk
David and Goliath by Malcolm McDowell

…and I’ve got an unreleased book manuscript, super secret, about what goes into success.

What are your preferred ways of getting the information you need?

I am on social media 24/7. I listen to podcasts. I also read the Drudge Report. Say what you will about Matt Drudge, but he gets the scoop. I follow Mitch Joel’s marketing blog, as well as Todd Henry and a couple of others. Steve Blank is high up on the list.

What do you like to do to unwind?

If you ask my wife, I never unwind. At all. However, I do like to watch movies and trailers for movies on the Internet. I also like to talk about movies and create vast, improbable screenplays in my mind…and on paper.

What is your most ambitious goal or aspiration for 2014?

My most ambitious goal is to get recorded, edited and archived all of my podcast content for an upcoming project, Earbud_U, set to drop in early 2015. I am also pursuing getting business sponsorships.

What makes you happy?

Traveling with my wife and kids, having a good meal, having a drink with good friends, going to Church and participating in building those relationships…

Anything else you would like to share?

I collect rubber duckies, the official mascot of Human Services Consulting and Training(HSCT) and a friend of mine just gave me a blue one for the Superbowl!

The blogs I nominate for the Liebster Award:

My ten questions for the nominees:

What do you DO exactly?
What do you remember the most fondly about the 90’s?
Where did your inspiration come from to start blogging?
Talk about a conflict in your life and how have you resolved it, or not.
What do you do for fun, to shake the cobwebs off?
What do you do to organize your digital life?
What is your process for writing your blog posts?
What are some of your hobbies?
Hypothetical battle: If a fair fight were to happen between yourself and a duck in the park, what would happen and who would win?
What would you like to promote today, if anything?

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Cell: 218-930-0364
Email: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Blog: http://consultingandtraining.blogspot.com

Guest Blogger Ruth Gray: The Bigger Picture

In general, when we think about creative people, we often do not think about conflict.

We sometimes assume that emotions in an artist are expressed through whatever medium they have chosen, and to a certain degree this may be true. However, conflict comes to the artist and creative as surely as it does to the executive and team leader.

The fine artist Ruth Gray of Ruth Gray Images: Anything But Grey–has been among our followers via Twitter for the entire time that we have been building Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT).

Her studio, Ruth Gray Images out of Derbyshire, United Kingdom (http://ruthgrayimages.net/) focuses on landscape painting influenced by the landscapes of the United Kingdom as well as Australia.

We here at HSCT have a fondness for artists (after all, our principal conflict consultant, Jesan Sorrells has a background in printmaking and drawing) and we believe in a creative, collaborative approach to the conflicts in life.

Please welcome our guest blogger, Ruth Gray.

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Waiting for the Bus Market Place Ripley

My name is Ruth Gray I am a fine artist I have been painting for over ten years professionally and like any job, for being an artist is a job, I have to interact with many other businesses and contacts before I make that magical sale! Conflict is something you can encounter everyday as an artist and my way of dealing with conflict is to always think of the ‘bigger picture.’

The ‘bigger picture’ that I refer is the length you would like your career to be whether you are an artist like me trying to sell pictures or a newly set up retail business. You have to decide how you will handle each conflict.

For example if a rival artist in your locality decides to change their modus operandi to be similar to yours and you feel it could have a knock on effect to your sales margins do you bad mouth that artist or think of ways of complimenting each other and collaborating?

I know which I would do! Collaboration brings many more opportunities for future projects and opens doors you previously had no idea about how to unlock. I am part of a few art associations and work alongside other artists at events and exhibitions and each decision I make is a big picture decision always thinking carefully about sharing and giving rather than taking and gaining.

Projects currently:

Ruth Gray Images Fine Art Landscapes – Anything But Grey.

Flourish Exhibition airarts aid to wellbeing Royal Derby Hospital: Now until Feb 2014.

http://airarts.net/2013/09/19/flourish-exhibitions-launch-thursday-26th-september/

The Ripley Rattlers Exhibition: DH Lawrence Museum June 2014.

http://ruthgrayimages.net/gallery_570722.html

Links:

http://ruthgrayimages.net/

http://about.me/ruthgray

http://ruth-gray.artistwebsites.com/

http://facebook.com/Ruthggray

http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/ruth-gray/1b/472/a17