Take Me to the Other Side

Much ink has been spilled about the impact of Martin Luther King’s life and legacy.

As a conflict engagement specialist, though, I think of something else today.

Nonviolent resistance is the best way to expose the hypocrisy and unjustness of legalized policies and has been used from Jesus to Ghandi to MLK to Nelson Mandela to affect change in societies and cultures.

But what about those folks on the other side of the confrontation?

What about those folks in power in the American South who had instituted systems of privilege and power that oppressed people?

What about the British government in India or the Roman government in Judea?

What about the white minority population and government in South Africa?

Why didn’t they look at the resistance, stop what they were doing, lay down their arms, put away their power, and work collaboratively to come to a just and equitable resolution?

In conflicts and mediation situations, I often observe parties who are incapable of changing their patterns of behavior, their ingrained responses and their knee jerk reactions to external stimuli coming in the form of difficulty, confrontation and conflict.

If people as individuals cannot look at the resistance, stop what they are doing, lay down their (metaphorical) arms, put away their power, and work collaboratively to come to a just and equitable resolution in a personal or family conflict, then what hope do countries, cultures and peoples have?

The issue at that point becomes one of decisions, choices and the will to follow through on them.

Jesus and Ghandi had the will.

So did MLK and Mandela.

The will on the other side was weaker, the ability to “save face” was not as strong and the capacity for change was not as developed.

Mediators are the only ones with the training, expertise and desire to get all the parties to the table to even begin the talking process.

Yet, we still have volunteer mediators in this country.

Yet, we still think that mediation, collaboration and compromise are for the faint of heart.

Something to think about, today on January 20, 2014.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Mediation with Slim Goodbody

Once parties in conflict agree to meet at the peace table, they are turned inside out.

Managing two parties in mediation becomes the hard work, because the mediator is addressing both her resistance internally, as well as their resistance externally.

Sometimes, this comes in the form of parties wanting to endlessly re-litigate past struggles, disappointments and failures.

Sometimes, parties seek to manipulate the mediator into addressing or “resolving” the conflict in their favor, entrapped in the false belief that mediation is just another form of “justice.”

Sometimes, parties would rather not be there at all, believing that mediation is a weak substitute for the more muscular appearance that litigation has in this culture.

Once parties in conflict agree to leave the peace table, the mediator is turned inside out.

And typically, there’s no witty guitarist and a muppet around to help out.

Take two hours this month to develop the leader within you.

Meet our conflict engagement consultant, Jesan Sorrells.

Map your leadership style this month and sign up for the February 19^th HSCT Seminar, Developing the Leader Within, held at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Broome County for only $89.99!

Follow the link here http://bit.ly/JM5w4X for more information and to register!

We would love to see you there!

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Brain Maps of Neural Highways

Scientists have recently confirmed what old wives’ knew many centuries ago: men and women’s brains are wired differently.

Apparently, neuron development goes left to right in female brains and down the sides in male brains, which leads to men reading maps better and women having greater emotional intelligence.

Maps are great because they show us where to go and lay out a plan for how to get there.

Emotional intelligence is great because it allows us to tap into human empathy.

So, do men and women “do” conflict differently?

Well, anecdotal evidence, from old wives’ tales to popular culture, says so.

But the research, the arguments and the assertions are still out there.

Here at HSCT, we use research based analysis that leads to value based outcomes for clients, customers and people—both men and women.

If you would like to find out more about this process, meet our conflict engagement consultants and have a good time too, sign up for TONIGHT January 15^th HSCT Seminar, Understanding Conflict, being held at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Broome County for only $89.99!

Follow the link here http://bit.ly/JM5w4X for more information and to register!

We would love to see you there tonight!

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Masculinity in Conflict – 2014 Edition

Masculinity is characterized in many ways, and in a country with 92 million Americans no longer in the labor force, we here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT), wonder what the impact of that could be on both men and women.

Work gives life meaning. It doesn’t matter whether you are the Christian and Jewish God of the Old Testament, the scholar consumed with the workers and the bourgeoisie or the creator of a political party dedicated to the death of people, work gives meaning.

Here in this space, we have blogged previously about the issues that men face and the very public methods that they sometimes use to resolve them. Violence is never an answer to a conflict, but unfortunately, it seems as though violent response by men to any and all perceived slight, has been codified in our culture, from video games to the movies.

We believe that each person is responsible for their own level of self-awareness and is accountable for their own actions, and that men are particularly held to a higher standard.

This is an “old school” philosophy that may reverberate with some readers as being misogynistic or narrow, but when men cease committing the majority of violent crimes and the majority of violent wars, then we’ll take a step back.

But, what does this have to do with work?

Work creates freedom. It allows for meaning, creativity, growth and fertility.
Work fosters connection. It creates the situations and environments that allow for the growth of human beings through connecting with others
Work develops character. It creates not only commitment, responsibility, accountability and purpose, but it also incentivizes actions that lead to more character.

But, what if there is no work?

Then masculinity (and by extension, femininity) must be redefined.

We here at HSCT would rather see that happen through the efforts of men who are committed to doing the hard work of work with other men, than through a wandering George Zimmerman or a gun-wielding, angry 14 year old.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) 2014 January Seminar: Understanding Conflict

HSCT January Seminar: Understanding Conflict

Do you ever wonder why people behave the way that they do?

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to sail through life and others have endless troubles?

During this seminar, held on Wednesday, January 15, 2014, we will expose the underlying assumptions that people share regarding conflicts, interpersonal communication and personality dynamics.

We will explore ways to overcome those assumptions and dynamics that will lead to better communication outcomes overall in both business and family.

Cost: At $89.99 per participant, HSCT is only offering this opportunity to 10 participants!

Time & Location: Seminar will be held from 6pm-8pm at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Broome County.

Registration and Payment:

Register TODAY by emailing hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.comthe first and last name, payment options, email and phone number for contacting all participants.

Mail a check made out to Human Services Consulting and Training to 1816 E. Campville Road, Endicott, NY 13760 or bring it to the seminar.

To pay by cash call 607.953.4215 or bring your payment to check-in at the seminar location.

HSCT does not accept payment from businesses or participants after the seminar has occurred. Individuals are expected to pay no later than the beginning of the seminar.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Heart of the City

A PR publicist tweets out something offensive and the entire world of Twitter knows about it five seconds later.

She is then “out of pocket” and finally gets “back into the game,” when she sees that the world has exploded and attempts to digitally erase her offense as well as any trace evidence of her presence.

She fails miserably.

We once read a comment from someone that “The entire Internet is designed for women, except for the porn and the stock quotes.”

Jay-Z once rapped in Heart of the City “Males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait.” He also once noted–along with Kanye West–that there’s no church in the wild.

Two days before this incident, Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame, shot off his mouth in a GQ article.

We also know that the female PR publicist once Tweeted out some things about Christians that weren’t so nice.

What do all of these things mean together, in aggregate?

We are all human. No one here on this planet is sinless, without error or not guilty.
We are all capable of forgiveness and grace: If we choose to act in such a way.
We are all going to have to be more responsible about posting, Tweeting, or otherwise creating “transparency,” and remain authentic—and able to defend that authenticity—against a digital world, with much less forgiveness and grace than in the eye-to-eye world.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Advice] The Most Perfect Gift

What is the most perfect gift that you can give?

During the holiday season, particularly around Christmas, the societal stress level in the West, increases as people pursue purchasing the “perfect gift.” The inherent, human tendency to have “stuff,” pushed by marketers, advertisers and other consumers, is hyped through Black Friday sales and “deep discounts.”

Also, fear is pushed that a holiday celebration will be “ruined” without the attainment and giving of that “perfect gift” to that person in your life.

If we stop however, and remember that the point of Thanksgiving is to be reflective, and that the point of Christmas is to focus on redemption, then the hard part is not slogging through the mall, stressing over an online purchase or crowding into a retail space at the “last minute.”

The real hard work between Thanksgiving and the New Year is focusing on the active act of engaging in reconciliation and forgiveness with those whom we have harmed, and who have harmed us during the past year.

Financial outlay then falls to the bottom of the list and the true cost—in time, energy, emotional effort and spiritual development—stands revealed.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Scrooged Buying

What kind of guy was Ebenezer Scrooge?

The character, created by Charles Dickens, was a conglomeration of many things, but was perhaps originally intended as a critique against Adam Smith economic theory.

The ideas of poverty and lack put forth by Thomas Malthus may also have influenced Dickens’ creation of the character.

In essence, Scrooge is the perfect marketing character for molding buying habits around the holidays for the dawn, the life, and the death of the Industrial era.

His tale has translated well from the dime novel format to that relic of the Industrial era—television—and has been featured in, literally thousands, of shows, musicals, books, plays, and even audio productions.

Two questions occur then:

In an abundance economy, where selfishness, greed and individualism are eliminated, will there be any room for the Scrooge story of redemption through learning lessons about the Past, the Present and the Future?
Will the kids still listen and tell their kids the story digitally 80 years from now on whatever “gee-whiz” distribution gadget will be foisted upon us by the fine folks at Google?

Hmmmmm….

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Tragedy of the Abundance Commons

In an abundance economy, built on trust, generosity and collaboration, the real tragedy of the commons is those who choose to participate selfishly, and in essence destroy the very thing that they are building in the first place.

http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Jasmine Starr’s recent issues in the blogging world are one example.

So is Marissa Mayer’s commentary about the photography world.

Many look at collaborative work in a social space as competing against the soiling of that same space by the presence of big brands with their ability to pay big money to clog your Facebook feed with advertisements.

However, the real tragedy, is allowing the collaborative possibilities to wither under the weight of fears and concerns over Edgerank, “what kind of content should I post,” and irrelevant speculation about an overabundance of noise and chatter.

Collaboration cuts through all of that to the bone of what abundance is at its heart: sharing.

Didn’t someone else bring this up about 2,000 years ago?

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Collaborative Values

The values of the abundance economy are as follows:

Honesty
Transparency
Clarity
Motivation
Courage
Self-Awareness
Focus
Discipline

How many of those are you in conflict with yourself over?

How many of those did you just read and think “I have trouble with that one, that one, that one?”

Or, did you think happy unicorn thoughts?

In a collaborative, abundant economy, where everyone has access and is giving everything away for free, where trust, generosity and collaboration matter more than scarcity, hoarding and a “Lone Ranger” attitude, those values aren’t that hard to exemplify.

There is nothing on this list that people from the Founding Fathers to Zig Ziglar didn’t talk about.

There is nothing on this list that leaders from Jesus to Mandela didn’t exhort their followers to have.

So, really, in an economy where the barriers of access keep getting lower and lower, what’s stopping you from collaborating with others using those values?

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant

Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)

Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining

Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct