[ICYMI] Stories We Tell Other People

The stories that we tell other people in our lives (the cook, the waitress, the kids, partner, the co-workers, and the judge) tend to be of a different variety.

  • They tend to be “me” focused (as in “Can you believe that THIS thing happened to ME!”).
  • They tend to be really focused on convincing other people of the rightness of our position (as in “I’m a [insert positive adjective of your choice here] person, I don’t deserve this! Don’t you agree?”).
  • They tend to be structured to imprint over other people’s emotional content that they are generating about us and the story that they are hearing (primarily by using emotionally laden words, phrases, vocal tones and speech patterns).

The stories that we tell other people about the conflicts in our lives are focused around figuring out who’s on our side and who isn’t. Not about what was right, what was wrong or what was out of our control in the conflict.

Who are you trying to convince with your conflict story?

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Opinion] Secret Apps and Public Trust

Post Secret. Whisper. Secret. Yik Yak. The Right to be Forgotten.

In 2014, it seems that the conflict between having everything known to anyone and the idea that there must be boundaries and things that are private, has escalated to new heights.

Yes, Edward Snowden’s activities have raised a lot of attention, and there are events occurring right now in the sharing, common spaces of social media that have created almost paradoxical, real-world, legal decisions, but the conflicts only seem to be increasing.

In addition, the intelligentsia and “people that matter” are all up in arms about the rise of narcissism and the ubiquitousness of the “selfie” in popular culture.

The true conflict, the real material issue, is not privacy versus control.

Or even narcissism versus humility.

The real issue is trust versus respect.

The apps, the court decisions, the NSA and everything else are indicative of a lack of trust in various social, economic and cultural areas by multiple public constituencies.

First in the markets, then in the consumer and finally in the system of governments, that should have principalities and powers earning more of the public trust, rather than being perceived as being engaged in wickedness in high places.

And conflicts where trust is the core thing that is lost are almost never resolved thoroughly.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/