[Advice] The Gap Between Here and There

The decision is the thing.

It looks romantic from the outside, I’ll be honest.  A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but you can’t take the first step without the decision to make the first step in the first place.

The gap between being there and getting here and the gap between being here and getting there are only covered by two actions:

Making a decision without much reassurance from others…


Doing the work without much appreciation from others about how difficult it is.

What covers the first gap (the one between being there and getting here) is making a decision. Making a decision to take action is scary and uncertain; and there’s usually very little reassurance from others. It typically begins when you are motivated enough to actually make the decision in the first place, and you’ll either be motivated by internal factors or external circumstances. And only one of these do you have control over.

What covers the second gap (the one between being here and getting there) is doing “the work.” Many people believe that “the work” or work ethic, is fading in American life. I prefer to believe that as the nature of “the work” shifts (from blue collar to white collar to “no” collar) the nature of the work ethic changes as well. Have I put in less “work” when I type up a 500-word blog post than a person has, who codes an algorithm all day in a language that looks like Mandarin to me?

It looks romantic from the outside, I’ll be honest. But on the inside, I can tell you, the work is what people observing you building your business, your project, your idea, or your processes from the outside aren’t going to see. And by “the work,” what these outside observers are really looking for are the tangible results of your efforts, your arguments, your research and your time.

Because, for better or worse, American culture is still built on getting results, rather than the nature and efficacy of developing, managing and experiencing, the process. For the peace builder, thinking about how to start building their project right now, I encourage you to cover the gap, first by making a decision, and then by doing the work.

For the peace builder (or anyone else who ever built anything) the decision is “the work.”

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Advice] The Right Brain-Left Brain Rap War

In a conflict or confrontation, it turns out that the right brain doesn’t know what the left brain is doing.

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The right brain, which controls creativity and negative emotions, reacts in a conflict to protect the rest of the brain by shifting to quick action and focusing on the conflict at hand.

The left brain, which controls rationality and solution storing for problems, reacts in conflict by shutting up, sitting down and taking notes for further review later.

Adrenal glands release cortisol during stress and epinephrine (commonly known as adrenaline) during difficulty.

These glandular chemicals, along with norepinephrine, allow us to create new memories in concert with the sympathetic nervous system.

The left brain records the memories while the right brain battles it out. Kind of sounds like the way wars are fought, as the generals sit at the rear while the front rank charges.

How do you respond to someone in this state?

  • Disengage—don’t use logic with the person. It won’t work.
  • Listen and be empathetic—but don’t “buy-in” to everything that the other person is experiencing.
  • Then focus on the rational piece—but don’t expect much help initially. The other person is still lit up.

Now, because the other person is still operating in right brain mode, they will make judgments about you, your behavior, your responses to them and the situation. And if you do the wrong thing, or confront them, those judgments become hard to break later on.

[Thanks to Bill Eddy and others] for giving me the ideas for this blog post.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/