[Advice] Queen of the YouTube Selfie

Narcissism is the great modern diagnoses.

From philosophers to social scientists to political theorists, the erudite thought leaders have spilled rivers of ink (or created tons of bytes) by critiquing the rise of everything from social media to the “selfie” and positing that such developments spell the end of Western civilization.

For our money, the end of Western civilization may come about, but not because a few million people posted images of themselves on social media sites.

And here’s a prediction for the intelligentsia: If the candidates for President in 2065 don’t have at least a Youtube channel, we here at HSCT will be genuinely surprised.

After all, we hear that you can’t even get a book deal these days without having a platform and an audience first.

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-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Why We Design Systems

The human brain seeks order out of chaos. It can’t help itself.

We create systems, cultures, organizations, traditions and stories to be able to make sense out of a world that seems inexplicable, where things seem to happen without reason or logic.

This ingrained need to create order has led to the creation of roads, bridges, governments and entertainment.

Conflict also results, because the universe (i.e. other people, circumstances, etc.) seems to also seek randomness and errors, both within and outside ordered systems.

Organizations, governments and cultures recognize and acknowledge this fact, and seek to smooth out the rough edges and patch over conflicts through a combination of punishment/reward and in-group/out-group sanctioning.

However, randomness, errors and conflicts present opportunities for change, not just opportunities to preserve the status quo and the even keel that our limbic systems have required since our time out on the Serengeti.

-Peace Be With You All-

Be More of Who You Are

MBTI, DiSC, Strengthsquest and multiple other personality assessments and sorters have appeared on the market after World War II, proposing to provide people insight into themselves.

But, when a person attains insight into themselves, what they do with that insight—how they change—is at least as important as the insight itself.

How we are seen and perceived by others is more of a tricky proposition and this is where Project Fascinate and Sally Hogshead come into play.

Sally has come up with an assessment that examines how the world sees you and breaks it down in an easy to read, highly accessible 16 page document.

But, what’s even better is that she promotes becoming more of what you already are, and differentiating yourself from the crowd by becoming more of what people see you being.

In a positive manner, of course.

This can create conflicts with self and conflicts with others, particularly if you’ve spent a long time (such as a lifetime) being what you think others want you to be, instead of being what they actually know you to be.

Unlearn boring and be more of yourself. This is the core of Project Fascinate.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

At This Point…

…what difference does it make?

This is a question that lies at the midpoint between successfully realized failure and rationally justified escape in any conflict.

We ask ourselves this primarily because we believe that we will fail to resolve a conflict in our favor (or in a way that reconfirms our position—no matter how flawed), so we feel justified in giving up.

We surrender, in some cases, to our basest nature and/or we let circumstances take over a situation that could be well under our control if we engaged with a little self-awareness, a little less self pity and with a little more courage.

We don’t judge the motives of the former senator and former Secretary of State in making this statement, but we do note that many, many people, significantly less prominent in the history of the, world have muttered this quietly to themselves.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

The 3 Pieces of a Bad Idea

There is a bad idea floating around out here.

It is an idea based off of get rich quick, short-term thinking.

It permeates the atmosphere of media reporting around start-up culture.

It has moved from the realm of the late night infomercial to the realm of the internet with astonishing ease.

The bad idea states that if a person just does one, secret trick that they will lose weight, gain height, and in general, improve their lives and fortunes.

The core of this bad idea really lies in three areas:

Hard work is boring, not flashy. Anything that can be done to avoid it should be done.
Consistency is unsexy and should be done away with in favor of short bursts of spectacle.
Commitment is a trap. Distract the audience long enough with spectacle and they will forgive lack of commitment efforts in work that isn’t necessarily flashy.

Individually, these areas are easy to combat and train out of an approach to anything worthwhile, from mediation to marketing.

Collectively, however, these three areas give power to the bad idea of an “easy solution” which is so pervasive that, when it takes root, in any area is almost impossible to dislodge.

-Peace Be With You All-

Scarcity is a Lie

Human beings have trouble engaging with conflict effectively, from the schoolhouse to the workhouse.

Well, the “workhouse” doesn’t exist anymore, but you get my meaning.

In a world of scarcity, conflict engagement is incredibly difficult, primarily because we tend to view our resources (i.e. time, emotions, money, etc., etc., etc.) as limited.

We tend to approach conflicts in our lives from an inadequacy fueled, poverty based mindset that views the future as scary, the past as dominant and today as a mere distraction.

This leads to people avoiding conflicts regularly.
This leads to people confronting conflicts badly and ineffectively.
This leads to people being confounded by conflicts genuinely.

This also creates a reality for people in conflict that causes them to believe that they solve conflicts well (they don’t) or that they don’t have any conflicts in their lives (they do).

The other side effect of a poverty based mindset around conflicts involves being pushed– through experiencing repeated conflict situations–toward trauma and dysfunction, before seeking professional help.

Trauma. Dysfunction. Poverty. Scarcity.

Engaging with conflict effectively requires a shift in psychology, designed to view resources as abundant, other people as partners and conflict situations as temporary moments in time, rather than permanent states of being.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

On Insurgency

On this day, in 1776 an insurgency began.

Think about it:

Tweet: The world’s largest empire at the time was categorically rejected by a country with almost no standing military,no domestic governmental structure and no hope of ever defeating the much larger empire.

The insurgency was formulated by men who had multiple goals and motivations (as do all men, at all times) but the ultimate mission of all of their goals was the establishing of a country founded in a set of principles.

The insurgency took over 200 years to become established as apple pie, Mom and, well…the flag.

Makes you wonder where all of the modern insurgencies going on now will end up in 200 years.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Blog: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

The Raindrop Delusion

Conflicts come about from differences people have about what matters and what doesn’t.

What matters and what doesn’t can cover areas such as:

Resources
Emotions
Situations with other people

When people work 40-80 hours a week with people that they did not pick, hire or choose to associate with, there are going to be conflicts and disagreements circling around the three above areas.

By the way, we recently heard this statement:

“I worked for 35 years in the corporate world and I never had any of the problems with other people that you talk about solving.”

This statement, while one which we here commonly, is a sign that either:

The person making the statement causes most conflict in their lives and is unaware of it,

The person making the statement tends to avoid or accommodate others in conflict situations and is therefore unaware of conflict,

The person is hopelessly delusional.

Now, the great Zig Ziglar once noted that “no one raindrop blames itself for the flood.” We here at HSCT would add that conflicts tend to arise after a deluge of raindrops has fallen.

In the workplace, the deluge can seem overwhelming to those trapped in conflicts in employment situations not of their making.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 06.10.2014

“…but I would have liked to have been asked!”

This statement typically…

…comes from the ego…
…comes from a fear of being left out, left behind, or not given consideration…
…covers a situation that says nothing about the other person’s selfishness, lack of consideration, caring, etc., and says everything about the person making the statement and their insecurities.

I have often completed a complaint with this phrase.

I have been fearful, anxious, insecure and not consulted often.

Sometimes, this has led to more conflict as I have reacted, rather than responded.

I’m trying to catch myself and do better.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

Pajama Based Coding

Are you wasting your time?

This is the interesting summation that Michael Tomeson came to in his Forbes article from a couple of weeks ago.

In doing work that can never be compensated for, to help build something for a corporation who will take it and make profit off of it—but not share any of it with you—you are, in essence wasting your time.

This is a classic conclusion that bubbles up from the depths of the old, Industrial based economic thinking, where every piece of effort to make a widget can be monetized, categorized and codified.

The application of scientific management for labor and profit, if you will.

We here at HSCT don’t believe that you’re wasting your time. Nor are we cynical enough to believe that you would rather help a corporation than help your fellow man.

We do believe that the economic, cultural and social rules are being rewritten, and the next trick to be played will be on all of those systems that insist on being non-symbolic, highly regulated and impervious to any disruptions.

You know, the kind of disruptions that encourage you to sit in your pajamas and code for free while having to go “work” for a big-box retailer for minimum wage.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com