Guest Blogger Joe Coudriet: Combating Negative Communication


“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”– George Bernard Shaw

This week’s Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) Guest Blogger, Pastor Joe Coudriet, along with his wife, Pastor Dawn Coudriet, is the minister of Southern Tier Family Life Church (STFLC), based out of Binghamton, New York. His blog posts this week and next will focus around combating negative communication patterns in your life.
The mission of STFLC (taken directly from the website) is as follows: “We desire to lead people into a real relationship with Jesus Christ as we glorify God, grow together and give to others.”
Meeting at the Boys and Girls Club of Binghamton, New York since the early months of 2011, STFLC has a strong background in service, growth and leadership.
Check out the STLFC website at www.stflc.org, follow Pastor Joe on Twitter at @joecoudriet,
and check out the STFLC Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/STFLC?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser
Or, if you’re in the Southern Tier Area on a Sunday morning from 10am-12pm, stop by the Boys and Girls Club of Binghamton, NY, and attend service.
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I always appreciate the opportunity to contribute to @Sorrells79 and the great work being done through HSCT.  
As a pastor I am full of faith and trust in God’s word.
As a human I know that before God’s word can have full effect in a person’s life that they must first face the truth: The truth about their circumstances, the truths about the relationships they are in, and the truths about themselves.
Of course looking at the truth is Biblical as well and so I guess I never really stray far away from it because the truth, the Bible says, will set us free.
When confronting the negative patterns of communication that hinder our relationships we must first be true to them; meaning we need to own what’s coming out of our mouth and from our actions.
The good news, however, is that if we can begin to be truthful with ourselves we can be set free from the hindrances developed through our communication patterns and then faith can take root in our lives and give us the strength to follow through.

Next…how to face the truth.
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-Peace Be With You All- 
Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Guest Blogger Joshua Munchow: Oh to be a Maker, Pt. II

“Who makes the world? Perhaps the world is not made. Perhaps nothing is made. Perhaps it simply is, has been, will always be there…a clock without a craftsman.”–Dr. Manhattan

In part one of our two part series, guest blogger Josh Munchow introduced ideas of struggle with the world, struggle with clients and their desires, and the limitations that applied design operates under in order to satisfy needs.

In part two, Josh goes deeper and explores some conclusions for us a consumers of his and the good folks at Formation Design’s, talents and skills.

Please take the time to read Josh’s words and perspective and follow him on Twitter @JoshuaMunchow.
By the way, we here at HSCT want to emphasize that Joshua’s words and perspective here in in part 2, reflect the views, policies or approach of Formation Design Group, Inc.
They are his own and we appreciate them.
Please take the time to contact Formation Design Group, Inc. for all your product development needs.
Formation Design Group
555 Dutch Valley Road
Atlanta GA 30324 U.S.A.
T   404.885.1301
F   404.885.1302
Twitter: @FormationDG


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The partners at Formation Design Group, where I work, are great at managing client expectations while giving it to them straight.
Oh To Be A Maker
I realize that this, in my opinion, is the best way to solve any and all conflicts; speaking with pure and  non-judgmental honesty.
Different people have different styles of discussing problems and searching for solutions. There are many people who have grown up in communities (like central Minnesota where I was raised) that utilize passive aggressive tendencies to deal with problems.
While this does ease the outward stress of a conflict, no one ever really knows what the other is thinking and it keeps people guarded and communication suffers. If people, including anybody reading this, can approach a conflict, miscommunication, or faulty expectation with honesty and humility, real progress can be made.
This is a learned response that I have been developing over time, approaching a problem with ONLY a vested interest in finding a solution and NO interest in simply being right. It just happens to be very tough when you made/designed/invented the solution that nobody likes.
The main reason that conflicts arise in the creative field is that egos are poked, qualifications are always being challenged, and money is at stake for a range of yet intangible things. The less vital an object or idea is to basic human life, the more opinions can tear apart an entire project.  This is where my true passion enters this equation. I have every intention of pursuing my goal of specializing and plan on training to become a watchmaker.
By watchmaker, I mean that I will make mechanical watches from scratch, by hand, one at a time. So thinking about it, that industry (I have to admit) might have the toughest job when it comes to conflict simply because the need for the products just isn’t there. A luxury product that has been replaced by inexpensive technology must create a large amount of differing opinions all the way up to the top. To be a successful company in that industry, they must have learned to get everyone from the designers, engineers, managers, and marketing to agree to a common goal simply to sustain existence.
 So I leave you with this; No matter what industry you work in, or whatever the reason for your conflict, you must remember that having to be right almost never settles a dispute and honesty will always get to the critical facts faster than sidestepping, defensive, passive aggressive behavior. I won’t claim to be an expert on the facts of conflict resolution, I am maker if you remember, and I will leave that to professionals.
I simply know what has worked for me and others in my profession and maybe it can work for others. It’s not too complicated, but also it’s not easy. Many people struggling with conflict resolution should meditate on this: If everything you ever did was wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. Don’t be afraid to be wrong, be overruled, or outvoted. Take satisfaction on finding a good solution, everything else is just gravy.
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-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Mediator/Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s NEW website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Guest Blogger Joshua Munchow: Oh, to be a Maker, Part I

“The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking. The solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I would have become a watchmaker.” – Albert Einstein

The Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) guest blogger for this week, Joshua Munchow, is a professional model maker who has worked on a variety of fabulous projects for many years.

He is employed as the Technical Development Lead for Formation Design Group Inc. in Atlanta, Georgia.

They are a product development firm focusing on new product innovation and have won numerous design awards and patents for their innovative design solutions.

Josh is a trusted friend of Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) and his writing and perspective will be featured in this space this week as well as next week. Conflicts exist everywhere, even in the field of applied design and the fine arts, and Josh has a unique perspective based in international travel, a rapacious curiosity and a continuing desire to be the best.
Plus, he’s the only person that we’ve met in our travels around the country who is a passionate watchmaker.
Please take the time to read Josh’s words and perspective and follow him on Twitter @JoshuaMunchow. By the way, we here at HSCT want to emphasize that Joshua’s words and perspective either here in part 1 or next week in part 2, reflect the views, policies or approach of Formation Design Group, Inc. They are his own and we appreciate them.

Please take the time to contact Formation Design Group, Inc. for all your product development needs.

Formation Design Group
555 Dutch Valley Road
Atlanta GA 30324 U.S.A.
T   404.885.1301
F   404.885.1302
Twitter: @FormationDG
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Watch Parts
I am a maker.
I am a creator of objects, a fabricator of ideas, and solution seeker.
When I say I am a maker, I don’t mean it in the current pop-culture sense.
I do not consider myself to be a part of the maker movement ideology.
I do not make things in my spare time, and it is not a hobby.
I graduated from college with a degree in modelmaking (read: learned to make anything you have to) and am currently working for a design and engineering consultancy as the shop manager and lead prototype developer. I make things for a living.
Making things in whatever regard sets you apart from a majority of other people simply because you look at problems differently. This is why when it comes to finances a CPA would view a problem with the deductions for a coffee shop much differently than me as it is their area of specialty.
For me, my entire life has been and will continue to be about making things and everything that goes with that. This inevitably leads to a problem.
When a majority of your skills are in an arena that many people don’t relate to, or as the designers I work with have to contend with, skills that seem superficially easy to a client wanting to make or save money, communication problems can arise.
With communication issues comes conflict for the entire creative process. We (the makers) need to earn a living and someone needs to have something made. Anyone who has ever been hired, contracted, commissioned, or lobbied to create something for another knows that the greatest struggle is trying to communicate the reality of how things work, what is possible and more often, how much things actually cost.
In my line of work, I utilize CNC machining, CAD/CAM drafting, and an array of other tools that make my job seem very cutting edge to those on the outside. But what many fail to realize is the extensive time and manpower that will inevitably be called upon in the development process.
Clients in this field have a tendency to want twice the work for half the price because they believe we can simply program the machine to do it. In the big picture, that can be an accurate generalization for some aspects of developing prototypes, but it falls short of a thorough understanding of what it can take to create something from an idea. CAD data needs to be created from quick sketches, parts need to be designed, programmed, fabricated, tested, revised, remade, and finally finished in a way that the idea can be communicated without any loss of clarity.
Most inspiring, however, the general knowledge of how things are made and the techniques used today are growing every day, but that growth can develop a misunderstanding. I blame this on short articles that appear in dozens of general interest magazines. For example, try picking up an issue of Popular Mechanics/Science without reading about 3D printers.
The general public and even those in the industry tend to read articles (aimed at an almost completely uninformed population) and derive the idea that making, designing, or manufacturing things is pretty easy now. And cheap. This leads to the biggest challenge with communication and conflict between clients and agencies: Describe the real world without sounding condescending to someone who might lack your depth of knowledge but is willing to pay you.
Then try doing that while also trying to convince them that your way of doing things is probably better too. There are many talented people who completely understand their business but might have never needed to know how their part would be injection molded and how much it should cost. This then becomes a truly difficult task and one that I have had to recently begin dealing with more as I become more involved with the entire development process.
Next week: Part II
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-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Mediator/Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s NEW website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

[Guest Blogger] Sheila Sproule: How I Became Inspired

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”― Jane Goodall
The Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) guest blogger this week is Sheila M. Sproule.
A graduate of Fordham University School of Law, Sheila serves in multiple capacities in the pursuit of peace in New York State.
Most prominently, she is the current President of the Association for Conflict Resolution-Greater New York chapter (http://www.acrgny.org/). As the president, she works to outreach and advocate for the interests of professional mediators, academics involved in the field and fellow legal practitioners of ADR in the greater New York area. From the ACR-GNY website:
“The Association for Conflict Resolution Greater New York Chapter, Inc. (ACR-GNY) is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to promoting and strengthening alternative dispute and conflict resolution, fostering the use of dialogue and contributing to professional development of the ADR field.”
In her professional life, Sheila works in the NYS Office of ADR and Court Improvement Programs as a Management Analyst. She is a tireless advocate of ADR processes and the ADR field overall and approaches her work with excitement, energy and an enthusiasm that is infectious and inspiring.
We here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) are proud to feature her writing here and heartily recommend joining ACR-GNY if you are a professional in the field of mediation anywhere in the Greater New York area.
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I became inspired to mediate in law school when I joined a mediation clinic out of curiosity.
YinYang and ACR-GNY Logo
It was a new concept to me — the idea that people could go to a third party neutral to assist them in resolving disputes — which is exactly the role I played when a group of us went in to small claims court each week to mediate cases.
It was eye-opening to realize that people were often motivated to sue each other because they wanted a chance to confront the person they felt wronged or disrespected by, and often never even spoke with until that day for the first time communicate since the incident. I found that money was not the only factor in every dispute mediated; but, rather everyone wanted to be heard.
As a former Adjunct in the same clinic years later, I learned how important it was for people to have their feelings validated by a neutral third person; someone that could reframe their situation to the other party in ways the other party could hear them.
These are just some of the values embedded in the dispute resolution field. As current President of ACR-GNY, it is my role to ensure that the public is made aware of all the options available to them when they are in conflict — from the early stages to the late stages. 
Dispute resolution practices take many different forms, and our membership embodies all the possible options out there — mediation, arbitration, coaching, settlement conferencing, and facilitation.
Please visit our website and learn more: www.acrgny.org.
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-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Mediator/Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s NEW website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

[Infographic] CEOS and Employee Engagement

Hello!

If you are a small business owner in the Southern Tier of NY State, then the infographic below, courtesy of our friends at ADRtimes (http://networkedblogs.com/KAG0M) applies to you as well.

What CEOs Should Know About Employee Engagement

What CEOs Should Know About Employee Engagement infographicPlease consider HSCT for all of your employee engagement needs.-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Offer] What Does it All Mean?

The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” – Morrie Schwartz
Our principle conflict engagement consultant, Jesan Sorrells, is often asked on sales calls for Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) a very interesting question by potential clients, customer and vendors:
What does HSCT stand for?
HSCT’s stance, approach and core, are best defined through our brand’s tagline, “Helping YOU ethically attain PEACE in YOUR life.”
Our tagline is more than just a witty phrase, or a method of branding; it reflects and defines the mission, values and vision for our consultants and our company.
Like many this week, we watched the events in Boston following the bombing at the Boston Marathon with a mixture of many emotions.
The subsequent manhunt and capture of the alleged bomber, and the subsequent information that was revealed about his upbringing, brought us back to the events at Sandy Hook, Connecticut last year.
We don’t know what to make of all of this yet, but we here at HSCT would like to take the time to encourage you to read our post from December 2012, “Masculinity in Conflict” here (http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com/masculinity-in-conflict-george-zimmermantrayvon-martin-edition/) and let us know what you think by commenting below or sending us a brief email at jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com.
And, check out our offers page –> http://bit.ly/HSCTOffers for FREE downloads, and more!
-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Guest Blogger] Leah Cagle: Why I Mediate

“It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”- Eleanor Roosevelt

Leah Cagle of Georgia Mediation Professionals, Inc., brings 20+ years of educational, entrepreneur and life experience to her extensive work in the field of mediation.
A seasoned practitioner with experience in  real estate, small business ownership, commercial development and construction, Leah has a sensitive and heartfelt approach toward working with all her clients and their needs.

Georgia Mediation Professionals, Inc., mediates civil and criminal cases referred to them through the Georgia State Court System as well as domestic cases.

Leah is a certified Christian counselor and brings her experience as a certified professional coach to the mediation table. She is a good friend of HSCT’s and we support her in her mission and goals to bring true peace and meaningful change to the world.
Check out the Georgia Mediation Professionals website at http://www.georgiamediationprofessionals.com/.

“I could never do what you do. Not in a million years!”
Uprise
That’s what I hear when I tell people I am a Mediator/Peacemaker. Conflict isn’t a favorite thing on most individual’s lists, however, I live my life’s work and mission in the messy middle of people’s conflict.
Why do I do it? I don’t practice Peacemaking because I’m looking to get rich or because it’s easy. Peacemaking is very difficult and high stress every day (I work with Lawyers!).
Starting a new business is difficult, high stress and often shows little return (financially) in the early years. The field of Mediation is tough! Getting a foot in the door is a huge challenge, and keeping it there requires a strong work ethic, honing of my skills set, and consistency.
As the world and the field of Conflict Resolution changes, we, as Peacemakers, must adapt.  Peacemaking isn’t what I do, it’s who I am. I am passionate about modeling a better way to “do conflict”.
The world around us is changing at the most rapid pace ever. We have lost the art of civil discourse. Conflict escalates daily. We need Peacemakers in every arena of life.
Networking, even if I don’t see a return on the contact for months or years, continual dialogue with other Peacemakers, listening to their ideas and thoughts on change, walking into another Peacemaking setting even though yesterday’s left me exhausted, I do all these things because I am a Peacemaker.
I am passionate about peace.

Leah Cagle, M.A.
Conflict Resolution Specialist

-Peace Be With You All-Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Guest Blogger] Larry Wolverton: So you want to be an entrepreneur? Are you sure? Are you really sure?

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it’s moving you away from your goals.” – Brian Tracy
We here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) are committed to helping each one of our clients (and our potential future clients) to ethically attain peace in their lives through the real-world application of Christian ethical principles.
We are also committed to collaboration and collaborative learning from other professionals, not only in our field, but in fields that interest us and can provide us insight, such as the arts, engineering, medicine, and so on.
With that in mind, we are launching our Guest Blogger series.
For the remainder of April and May, as the leaves begin to pop out and spring visits our country, we will be featuring the thoughts, opinions and commentary of professionals in the field of mediation and conflict engagement.
We hope that these writings will inspire and engage YOU to ethically attain PEACE in YOUR life.
Our first guest blogger is Larry Wolverton, Change Maker & Chief Connector at Top Tier Liaison & Conflict Resolution Services in Arizona.
Connect with them through their website at http://www.toptierlcrservices.com/
Top Tier focuses on developing communication around change in businesses and organizations through the use of analyses, methodology and a multidisciplinary approach to communication between employees and management.
 Larry has multiple years of experience in education and with healthcare start-ups as well as international experience that he brings to the conflict engagement and communication table.

Today I am thinking about the “Entrepreneurial Spirit” and those traits that I feel make for a contented, happy, self-employed person. I will also explore what it means to be an entrepreneur, both in your own business or as a valued employee of another company.
Most people I have met had, at one time or another, “toyed” with the idea of starting their own business, so the idea is attractive for several reasons; potential unlimited income only constrained by our own efforts, freedom to make our own schedule, and doing things “our own way” are just a few advantages that we see successful entrepreneurs sharing with us in their highly visible life styles.
Not mentioned are the 60-100 or more hours per week required during the start-up phase (up to five years on average), or the stress of development of an idea for public consumption, the work required to create a clear business plan and company direction, and of course the ever high hurdle of financing a new business or business idea.
I would like to point out that to be a successful entrepreneur failure is a necessary ingredient in the mix of experiences required on the path to success. There is a very fine line between failure and success.
Learning how to manage failure and learn those lessons from “fantastic failure” is just one of those dues required to understand how to succeed in business.
I have paid those dues, however I feel the impact of those past failures has been tempered by lessons learned as an employee for others who paid to train me in production, operations, management, and other areas where transferrable skills are learned.
And for those with “great ideas”, there is the ever present negative feedback from those who “care about you.” Critical review of a new idea, product, or business plan is essential to remaining grounded. However the choice of who reviews these critical aspects of your business must be undertaken seriously so that a neutral, knowledgeable opinion is obtained.
I find the mindset shift from employee to owner/manager a natural one that also allows me to understand some of the business decisions my employer has made during my tenure at my “weekend” job, too.
So the question is more appropriate when we ask, “Do you want to be an entrepreneur, right now?” The desire to be self-employed is one that drives creativity and builds the traits necessary to actually be a business owner.
However, the learning process can and often is obtained by taking ownership of our current “day or weekend” jobs, and acting responsibly and creatively in performing above and beyond our employer’s expectations.
Today, right now, is the time to start building and demonstrating those traits that are commonly accepted as entrepreneurial and necessary to success.
Those traits include: humility, willingness to accept the need to change, a willingness to delegate and allow others to help grow the business, sharing the spotlight, listening to our industry experts and mentors, perseverance in face of “insurmountable” challenges, and a solid belief that what we are doing is right for us and our families, among many others.
And lastly, staying in the workforce and working for a company that demonstrates your personal values and goals, and that supports your efforts to be creative and a partner in growth, might be the best way to be an entrepreneur for you.
Not everyone has the luxury of taking the risks of starting their own business, and must forego that “dream” for the sake of their young family, or other reasons not highlighted here.
Taking that entrepreneurial spirit and applying it to your current job or seeking a new job more suited to your interests can be rewarding and just as fun and challenging without the stress.
Would I encourage you to go out into the world and build a business of your own? Yes, absolutely, but only if it is something you crave enough and have passion for that will drive you to follow through during challenging times.
Larry Wolverton,
Employee and Entrepreneur
Change Maker & Chief Connector
Top Tier Liaison &Conflict Resolution Services
Are you a business owner striving to bring the entrepreneurial traits of your employees out in their current jobs?
Top Tier Liaison & Conflict Resolution Services, will help you do just that through top tier, evolutionary communication.
Please see how here.

 -Peace Be With You All-Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/