Guest Blogger Diane Lange: Which Comes First: A Crisis of Trust or a Crisis of Leadership?


The Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) guest blogger for this week is Diane Lange.

Diane is the president and owner of Proclivity, LLC(www.proclivityllc.com).

Proclivity, LLC., based in Binghamton, NY is a business leadership consulting firm, dedicated to the principle that “every person and every organization has a natural inclination to be the very best.”

Ms. Lange has over 20 years of experience in organizational development, consulting, addressing quality-of-life issues in the workplace, and assisting in the design and development of change initiatives in organizations.

Ms. Lange is a member of the Society of Human Resource Management Professionals (SHRM) and the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD).

She is thoroughly committed to developing excellence in others and in their organizations.

Ms. Lange can be reached via email to answer inquiries or to make and appointment at diane@proclivityllc.com.

We here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT) admire her work and believe that cross-over from what we specialize in (conflict engagement consulting with small businesses, churches and higher education organizations) with what Ms. Lange and Proclivity, LLC., specializes in, can spur growth, attract new customers and clients and lead to a better, more collaborative future for everyone.

————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Happy Employees
Listen up bosses; according to a study published by the Harvard Business Review in 2009, a majority of people reported that they trust a stranger more than they trust their boss.  If you’re like me, you had to read that twice. Worse yet, Michelle McQuaid, a world leader in positive psychology conducted a survey of 1000 American executives and found that a staggering 35 percent of Americans are happy at their job while the other 65 percent said they would rather have a better boss than a pay raise. And you thought the almighty dollar ruled.
Given these statistics, it is no wonder that people leave their jobs. As the old adage says, “people leave managers, not organizations” and according to Gallup the number one reason people leave organizations is because of bad managers and leaders. Managers may be bad for a variety of reasons and one of the reasons is failing to establish a trusting relationship with their staff.  Essential work relationships can be marred or destroyed by a leader’s actions that cross boundaries, break rules, or demonstrate arrogant attitudes that reflect a belief that the rules don’t apply to them. Unfortunately, every time we hear news stories that leaders do something illegal, immoral, or unethical it further erodes what little trust we have left.

But the actions that ruin trust don’t need to be as big as all that; they can be as subtle as ‘little white lies’. I worked for a boss who told me and my team an explanation that we all knew to be untrue. Though we liked the boss, once the lie was said we were very disappointed; we felt betrayed, we kept our distance and we thought twice about what information we would share. Once the distrust was established something intangible yet very important was lost – respect. Communication would never be the same and we would never again feel safe.

My example isn’t unique. Forbes reports that 82% of those surveyed didn’t think their bosses tell them truth.  Sadly, now I join that 82%.  And there is more disturbing information. Edelman’s Trust Barometer for 2013 – one of the largest surveys of its kind to date – recently released results from 31,000 international participants and reported that only 18% of the respondents trust that business leaders tell the truth.

All of this has an obvious effect on our businesses and organizations; employees are stressed and disengaged and Gallup polls tell us that poorly managed teams are, on average, 50% less productive and 44% less profitable than well-managed teams. The negative impact of distrust, poor relationships and poor management in the workplace has ripple effects that go wide and deep. Good leaders understand that positive relationships and trust are not just HR ‘niceties’, but are essentials for improved moral, better team work, fewer sick days, superior performance, decreased turnover and increased profitability.

Many have said this situation points to a crisis in leadership, and if leadership is in crisis then so too are their followers. The truth is that leadership implies followers, and without followers, we are fooling ourselves if we think we’re a leader. If we do have followers, are they staying because they want to be or because they have to be? In some arenas followers are there by choice, but in most organizations, staff has little choice about following a leader unless they vote with their feet and leave the organization in favor of another leader.

But, if our followers stay and are stressed, disengaged, distrustful and miserable how effective is our leadership?  Chris Hitch, Program Director at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s Kenan-Flagler Business School deftly summarizes it when he said, “Unfortunately, many senior leaders cannot seem to shake the top-down model of management that adheres to the notion that authority creates trust. In reality, trust creates authority.”
Can a person be a leader if he or she is not trustworthy? Our experiences tell us ‘no’ and so too do the surveys that abound. Anyone can have a leadership title, but that doesn’t make one an effective, trust-worthy leader. Trust is a by-product of one’s actions and behaviors in the relationships they have with those around them, especially with their direct reports. Trust cannot be mandated or bought; it can only be earned one interaction, one word, and one day at a time.

So how does one go about building trust? The answer is simple, but not necessarily easy. Look inside; who do you trust? What do they do? Who don’t you trust? What do they do?

              Probably the people who earn your trust are good communicators who tell the truth, follow through on promises, act with a high degree of integrity, and value positive relationships with whom they live and work. Those who practice these actions will not only be trusted but will also be looked upon as leaders, because people will voluntarily follow them. If one hasn’t built and earned trust, people will never voluntarily follow and that is a crisis in both trust and leadership.
Article Citations
© Proclivity LLC 2013
—————————————————————————————————————–
-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Mediator/Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com

Check out HSCT’s NEW website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Views From About Town

It’s Friday.

It’s hot and sweltering in the Northeast.

Tempers are short.

Here are some views from about town from the week.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
“Like” the https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining page on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Blogging for Business Success by Jesan Sorrells and Dara Riegel

Hello!

If you are attending the Binghamton & Southern Tier NY Business Community Meet-Up at Binghamton University right  now, Dara and I would love for you to click on the link here
(http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct#!projects/c1vw1) to access all the cool content from our presentation.

And, for your viewing pleasure, we have cross-posted the infographic below from Blogging.org (http://blogging.org/blog/blogging-stats-2012-infographic/)

Please be sure to check them out as you do all of your blogging!

Thanks!

-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
“Like” the HSCT Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Get The “Duck” Outta Here!

“Rubber Ducky, you’re the one, you make bath time lots of fun. Rubber Ducky, I’m awfully fond of you.”-Ernie (of Bert ‘n’ Ernie)

Here at Human Services Consulting and Training, we have had many adventures in the last 8 months of building a business in the Southern Tier of New York State.
We have had the honor of meeting and talking with local business owners, entrepreneurs, higher education officials, a few civic leaders and even the occasional member of the media.
We have been blogging, Tweeting, Facebook-ing (is that a word) and connecting on LinkedIn in order to spread the word about our mission: To help YOU ethically attain PEACE in YOUR life.
We have also had our trials and tribulations: It’s always called a “lean-start-up” or “bootstrapping” when nothing is working.
When there are days that clients don’t call back, leads don’t pan out, promises aren’t always kept and people sometimes respond to an offering of peace as if the stick of war were coming at them.
We have been called many things by many people, and we have battled pigeonholing ourselves in many ways to appeal to many audiences, all the while maintaining our core focus on our target–YOU.
We’ve blogged some things that were controversial and we’ve said some things that rock the proverbial boat, but we genuinely believe that they only way to attain peace is to first acknowledge some base-level Truth and then go from there.
But, in all of this time, we haven’t had a mascot. A leader if you will. A cheerleader, if you must. We have not had an all-important symbol to recognize the HSCT “brand” by for YOU the customer, reader or vendor.
As you can tell, the décor has changed on the blog, as well as on the Facebook page, the Google + page and, soon, the Twitter background.
We told a group of people one time, that the most important thing to remember in a conversation was to “duck.” That doesn’t mean avoid or accommodate. Instead, it means to look out for yourself, your head, your emotions, your soul, your mind and your outcomes.
Because if you don’t “duck” today, as any good, surviving soldier, police officer or fireman can tell you, you may not have an opportunity to save someone or something more valuable tomorrow.
-Peace Be With You All-Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Advice] Masculinity in Conflict-George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin Edition

“Our fathers were models for God. If our fathers abandoned us, what does that tell us about God?” -Fight Club

“We used to have the church. Which was another way of saying, we had each other.” – The Departed
“The six scariest words in the English language are ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’” -Ronald Reagan
Conflicts-Are-The-Symptoms

The opinions of the media, the social justice community and the black community have been largely monolithic. Speaking with one voice, they have roundly expressed outrage over the result through social media outlets, on the internet and in traditional media.

We here at HSCT have an opinion on the case and the verdict, however, we start with three caveats:

  • We were not in the courtroom and with the exception of details we have gleaned from the aforementioned outrage, have no ideas about the facts of the case.
  • We were not the jurors, the judge, the prosecutor, the defense attorney, the investigators, or anyone else who had direct access to the facts of the case.
  • We were not in the courtroom and did not hear one of the facts of the case, presented in evidence, during the trial, nor did we watch one moment of the trial coverage.

However, from the 50,000-foot up level, we recognize the ripple of conflict, brought on by a confrontation, occurring in a society dealing with difficulties in many areas, including race, gender, power, attention and advocacy.

With that in mind, we reprint here a blog post Masculinity in Conflict that we wrote back in December of 2012 following the Sandy Hook school shooting.

We here at HSCT believe that the same, core issues around misplaced masculine power that were in evidence then, are in evidence now, both in the 17 year olds’ actions as well as the 29 year olds’ response to those actions.

When are mature, responsible men going to start “fixing” other men and young boys so that events like this do not have to happen anymore?


We were hesitant to even comment on the killings in Connecticut this week in this forum, because here at HSCT, we have a core value that all life is precious and that all lives have value.
We particularly hold this value dear for people who cannot defend themselves adequately in the world, such as the mentally ill and children. Both of those groups were impacted by the actions of one mentally ill individual.
We tend to also wait until all the facts are in and then make a judgment about a situation, and over the last six to seven days, with a speed never fully imagined in a world before social media, we have been held breathless and traumatized by the changing facts of the hour on the ground.We here at HSCT take no official position on gun control or assault weapons bans.

We do note , however, that gun-related violence and gun based crimes in places where such bans are in effect (such as Chicago and other major metropolitan areas)  runs rampant, with black on black murder rates, that make what happened in Connecticut look like exactly what it was: random and senseless.

We take no official position on treating the mentally ill. We also take no position on survivalists and people who fear the “End of the World” or economic collapses.

However, we do take a position on conflict and we do take a position on ways to avoid, ameliorate and prevent conflicts form occurring in the first place.

And in this case, the most glaring issue is not access to weapons or mental illness (those have been with us since Abel killed Cain, or two monkeys slew each other over fruit, depending upon your belief system). The most glaring issue is one, which we have spoken little about at all:

Masculinity.

What does it mean to be a man?

How does a young child grow into a boy and finally, through the throws of the teenage years to be a man?

How does he honor, respect and protect himself? What emotions is he allowed to show, express and experience?

We have a crisis in the world, and it is with our young men: young men ages 12 to 35 commit the majority of violent crime. Restless and bored young men commit the majority of rapes, murders, robberies and assaults. We watch as young men in this country play video games and consume media that passes along messages that violence and anger are appropriate methods of resolving conflicts with others.

We compound our problem by medicating young men for ADD and ADHD when in the past, they would have been put out to push a plow or work in a factory to wear themselves out.

And then we wonder at their behavior. They lash out aggressively after years of bullying and violence that they have seen: Unable to talk to parents, educators or even each other. They feel alienated from females and from education: Some colleges are almost at 60% female 40% male and the male dropout rate in the first year of college is criminally underreported.

So….who’s to blame? Who’s responsible for all of this? To whom can we point? What government agency or law can be passed to “fix” this so that we can return to our lives?

One group is responsible for all of this and can fix it effectively and one group alone:

Men.

Let me restate that in case you missed it: Responsible, mature, steady adult men have an obligation to mentor, coach, advise and raise (yes, I said raise) the next generation of men. And too many fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers and others have failed miserably at that task.

The “why” is unimportant; what is important is that men have abdicated this role for too long in our society overall and in families in particular:

  • They have allowed unscrupulous males to abuse and molest innocent young children;
  • They have allowed the state to step in where they should have years ago;
  • They have not partnered with women; instead they have allowed women to take on more of the blame and the responsibility for the failures of men and boys to acculturate to our new society and culture.

It’s no mistake that the killer in Connecticut was taken to the gun range by his mother and taught to shoot.

Men have to stand up and say that emotions and feelings are real and that they feel them and that anger is not a primary emotion: disgust, fear, worry, betrayal, love, grace, and on and on.

Men have to stand up and be responsible for their own reproductive, mental and physical health: Go and see a therapist and talk about the experience. Go and talk to a religious leader and talk about that. Wrap your tool in a condom and talk about being with one person monogamously and how fabulous that is. Go to the doctor and talk about how that restores you as a man and makes you stronger.

Men have to take their sons, nephews and grandsons and hug them every night of their lives and tell them that they love them and that failure is only temporary and that the world, while scary, can be conquered through hope. Men have a responsibility to teach and mentor the next generation to remember that a child is more than a support payment or a burden and instead is a gift that comes with a price.

Men have to take their daughters, their wives, their aunts, their mothers and their grandmothers and demonstrate that honor and caring are strengths, not weaknesses.

Men have to stand up and say that bullying someone because of color or sexual orientation is cowardice and that understanding comes, not from the media or the pundits, but from talking through differences and accepting them.

Men have to stand up and show that being physical and being strong are two different things.

Men have a lot of responsibility to take responsibility for, before shootings and murders stop, before violence is banished; but if we don’t do it now, more kindergarteners will die, more mothers and parents will wail, more laws will be passed and the problems will continue.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

Book Review: Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? By Seth Godin


We live in interesting times.
The internet, social media, the connection economy have shifted everything. 
Old industrial based models in TV-advertising,newspapers, real estate listings, the record industry, etc, etc, are either dead or dying.

The fact that evidence of them still exists should only be taken as evidence that corpses can still walk around and talk. People, institutions, organizations and governments are attached to the past methods and means that were “tried and true” but are not so much now.

The idea that work (blue collar or white collar is unimportant) is value-less is dead as well. Millenials in a recent study, asserted that they would rather collect unemployment than do work that is unfulfilling. Baby Boomers with power, influence and dollars, hear this and wonder if the sky is falling. Gen-Xers (like myself) hear this and wonder why we didn’t have the guts to make that assertion back in the 90’s.
Our K-12 education system is broken and we’re not sure what can be done to solve what happens at home. 
And the only things that the marketers with big data can come up with is how to effectively “mass-market” more to sell us stuff.
What is a person to do in the midst of all of this noise?
Author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and marketer, Seth Godin has a suggestion: Become indispensable. Become a linchpin. 
Godin makes this evolutionary as well as revolutionary, argument in his book, Linchpin: Are You Indispensible?, published in it’s first edition in 2008.
From Linchpin: “If you are deliberately trying to create a future that feels safe, you will willfully ignore the future that is likely.”
Bureaucrats, whiners, fundamentalist zealots, all of the folks in these groups are nostalgic for a future that hasn’t happened yet, Godin argues, and the primary reason that they have difficulty in seeing and comprehending the future is that they are emotionally attached to an outcome and they are resistant to, and fearful of, change.
But, Godin argues, we as individuals,  small business owners, entrepreneurs, solopreneurs  and others who want to either make a living in the “new” economy or make the leap from “hobbyist” to professional, have but one choice:

To be absolutely artistic, absolutely remarkable and absolutely committed to performing the long-term emotional labor required to niche a product, approach and perspective to the smallest group of committed individuals who will honor the provider with trust, credibility and referrals and ultimately, cash for our emotional–and sometimes physical–labor.

As a small business owner, entrepreneur, consultant, teacher, trainer, mediator and peacemaker, I screamed at the book: “IF THIS IS SO GREAT WHY HAVEN’T MORE PEOPLE DONE IT ALREADY!!!”
The answer is simple: The lizard brain. The amygdala. The resistance.
Godin argues that the lizard brain, or the resistance, is  the ancient evolutionary part of the human mind that seeks stasis, calm, and sameness. 
When aroused or threatened, however, it reacts with fear, paranoia, anger, rejection, defensiveness and all the other range of negative human responses to external–and internal–stimuli. 
Caiman Lizards, Not the GEICO Lizard
 
Thus schools encourage curriculum approaches that standardize children’s thinking.
Thus workplaces encourage human resource departments to standardize approaches to conflicts and friction, to avoid lawsuits and loss of money.
Thus governments make regulations that seek to remove all of the “rough-edges” from society and if they can’t be removed, then may seek to criminalize the rough edge.
Thus culture takes in what used to be outré and formalizes it, standardizes it, and welcomes it into the “mainstream.”
Godin argues that this happens below our radar and is so ingrained in our approach to economics, law, culture, government and other areas, that when disruptive technologies give rise and permission to perform disruptive creativity the results often scare us, astound us and then become dismissed. 
How many times, both personally and professional have you heard, thought or said “I could never do that.” Or, “That’s fine for them, they’re in [blank industry], we’re special and unique over here and that won’t work for us.”
That’s the resistance.
Godin ultimately argues, even as he dedicates his book to the resistance, that fighting the resistance by being indispensable in a job, in a family, in a community, online or off, matters more NOW than at any other time in human history.
Becoming truly indispensable is no longer a privilege of the highly educated, the obscenely wealthy or the incredibly smart/talented. 
Anyone can start a blog, curate a Twitter account, be interesting on Facebook. 
Anyone can build a movement around a cause, build a brand around an idea or build a culture around reaching for the unusual rather than the mundane.
We here at HSCT believe that the future is coming. We are not attached to it, even as build for it. The heart of bringing peace through effective marketing, targeted artistry in conflict engagement and impassioned speaking and advocating, can shape a future where we are all Linchpins and no longer cogs.
Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin

Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: Portfolio Hardcover; Second Edition edition (January 26, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1591843162
ISBN-13: 978-1591843160

-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Training page on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Guest Blogger Larry Wolverton: We Can’t Take It With Us

We have had many guest bloggers in the last two months here on the HSCT Communication Blog.
Our first guest blogger, Larry Wolverton, Change Maker & Chief Connector at Top Tier Liaison & Conflict Resolution Services in Arizona, has returned to the friendly confines to provide us with another round of his wisdom and insights.
Top Tier focuses on developing communication around change in businesses and organizations through the use of analyses, methodology and a multidisciplinary approach to communication between employees and management.
 Larry has multiple years of experience in education and with healthcare start-ups as well as international experience that he brings to the conflict engagement and communication table.
Connect with them through their website at https://www.toptiercommunicators.com/Home.html
——————————————————————————————————————–
Working in hospice for the past several years has provided me with a new perspective about life. As we move from this world and our body is no longer functional we become aware that even as we are about to experience the greatest loss we can imagine, we also cannot take any of our possessions, friends, or family across that veil that separates the life we have known to that unknown world we are about to enter.  So what is the most important thing we can create that will last beyond our own mortality?  I feel, after hearing the stories I hear as people recount their lives and achievements, that all we can do is leave behind a legacy of caring, love, and a world a little more comfortable for our kids, grand-kids, and great grand-kids.
As I enter the twilight of my life and watch people die the age of my children, I know that it is important that the message be delivered now that no matter how old you are, life is short and that legacy can be created in a short time by learning to love the unlovable, care about the uncaring, and sharing with those who are too afraid to share.  How can we do this?  It is quite simple, live as if there is no tomorrow and only today counts.
So the question I ask myself every morning before my feet hit the floor is how can I make today the day I learn the secret to overcoming my personal shortcomings long enough to really understand those who I don’t understand now? The secret, I think now, is that we all have the same ability to hurt, react poorly, be selfish, and in the same life care more about another more than ourselves. Can we connect with the humanity in all of us, even when the surface impression is that a person doesn’t possess humanity?   Only we can answer that question for ourselves, but it is a good question to ponder and consider as we move through our day, a day that counts.
It is important that what we leave behind is greater than ourselves, because we really can’t take it with us.
————————————————————————————————————————
-Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Training page on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

Guest Blogger Joe Coudriet: Combating Negative Communication, Part II

In the continuing effort to add the most value to your life that we possibly can here at Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT), we are bringing back Pastor Joe Coudriet of Southern Tier Family Life Church (STFLC) based out of Binghamton, NY.
This is the second part of his blog post (interrupted last week by our observations and reactions from volunteering in the OKC area) focusing on negative communication patterns.
And, as our national holiday of July 4th approaches, family, friends and others will be communicating, hopefully with positive communication patterns.
But if not, well…here’s Pastor Joe…
————————————————————————————————————————-
 Last time, I talked about facing the negative patterns of communication that effect our relationships by first being true to them; meaning owning them.  It can be tough and it can hurt, but like the words of the song says, it can ‘hurt so good’ if we’ll deal with them straight up.
I want to move in the direction of replacing the negative with the positive but before we can we have to see what needs corrected.
How do we deal with anger and negative emotions.
First of all, anger is not a thing, it’s a feeling.  Anger has no power in and of itself unless you bring action to it; to get ‘angry.’  Getting ‘angry’ can happen in our heads or manifest through our actions and when they do, we likely hurt ourselves and others.  And, who wants that?
Fear of Unemployment
So, when you are feeling ‘anger’ or experiencing negative emotions, learn to do the following things:
1-Wait 3 minutes and do nothing.  This can give the mind, and the spirit, time to kick in to bring clarity.
2-Link your desire to respond with a thought about what that ‘action’ would bring about (more anger, hurt to you or others) and,
3-Combat the thought, immediately or after the 3 minute wait, by speaking something positive; a blessing, an observation, whatever.
Just because you get angry, or experience negative emotions, doesn’t mean that you have to empower those feelings.
Face them, consider the consequences of acting on them and replace them.
————————————————————————————————————————-
 Check out the STLFC website at www.stflc.org and their Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/STFLC?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser.
Or, if you’re in the Southern Tier Area on a Sunday morning from 10am-12pm, stop by the Boys and Girls Club of Binghamton, NY, and attend service.
 —————————————————————————————————————————
 -Peace Be With You All-
Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
Email HSCT questions or comments at: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Check out HSCT’s website: http://hsconsultingandtrain.wix.com/hsct

OKC Relief: 2013-Hard Labor, the Knowledge Economy and Christian Economics


 “Labor was the first price, the original purchase-money that was paid for all things.  It was not by gold or by silver, but by labor, that all wealth of the world was originally purchased. “ – Adam Smith

There is an epic change—a sea shift, if you will—occurring the economy of the United States and other Western economies. A combination of factors has caused this shift (governmental regulations, export/import laws, tax regulations, the rise of the internet, etc.) but in spite of what has caused it, individuals are experiencing the impact of this sea shift. And it’s not going to end anytime soon.
The first economy that is most acutely being left behind is the industrialized, farm and labor economy where someone performs hard labor for 8, 10, or 12 hours a day, goes home with their union negotiated pay in their pocket, and then collapses on the bed, only to rise again at 5am the next day to repeat the process. This is the economy of broken backs, wrinkled brows, workplace injuries and men and women who appear aged 65 at age 45.
The other economy that is being left behind is the human service economy. The economy of “Can I get fries with that?” and the economy of part time customer service that eventually moves to full time management. These economies are being replaced by automation, online servicing and other ways of providing the same thing for less. Part of this shift is being driven by governmental regulations and new laws. Part of this shift is being driven by the grand idea of a “no employment” economy that operates where there is no profit, no loss and really no jobs at all.  See the thought leaders on LinkedIn for more about this concept.
With all of these shifts and changes, it’s easy for organizations and individuals to become defensive and retrench; sticking to thinking that the old ways will save us and practices that preserve the image of stability, encourage and sustain sclerotic growth and provide a measure of security at the expense of the scariness of growth and freedom. 
 
The Face of Hard Labor
What I saw in Oklahoma convinced me that this last is the absolutely wrong approach to the future. And, as a conflict engagement consultant, I believe firmly that conflicts must be addressed with an eye toward the future and the preservation of relationships that may not yet even exist. With that in mind, three things occurred to me on the 24 hour+ bus ride back to the Binghamton area:
Neighborhoods Like this Aren’t Going to Clean Up Themselves
Hard labor will always exist. There will always be people who will have to build roads, lay concrete for housing foundations and stand on roofs, laying tar in the heat of a July day. However, the numbers of people overall performing this labor will decrease rather than increase and it is imperative that we train our very bright eyed and bushy tailed Millenial and post-Millenial generations the value of hard labor. 
The value of this will be particularly acute when disaster strikes and old things are swept aside and new structures must be built.
The knowledge economy and gains we have seen in it must be applied more and more to the hard labor economy. Now, maybe this is already happening at a deep level that I am unaware of, but I wonder: Is there an app for calling every Bobcat in a local area when a disaster strikes and the people to operate them? Is there a way to instantly download the building plans to a first responders’ I-phone so that they know the right room to go to when rescuing folks? Again, maybe this is happening in larger metropolitan areas, but what about out in the boondocks? And which Millenial or post-Millenial computer whiz is going to develop this and take it glocal?
The economy of giving—of time, money, labor and other intangible resources—is currently being led by organizations that are either Christian or have a Christian founding, such as the Salvation Army.  This creates a dichotomy whereby another economy is created, and that is a Christian economy. And as the overall society becomes more secularly focused, these Christian based organizations (sometimes partnering with secular organizations, such as the Red Cross, sometimes not) will gradually become more and more important in responding to disasters—environmental, financial and even economic.
I founded HSCT on the principle that there is a way to approach engaging with conflicts by applying Christian ethics to find long-term solutions for people and organizations. 
The simplest ethic is one of Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You. This is known commonly as the Golden Rule. 
Christians hopefully will take from the disaster in Oklahoma and apply this principle well and modeling the greatest ethic of all, which is simply to help others whenever and wherever the opportunity arises and by this demonstrate the depth and breadth of love.

-Peace Be With You All- 
Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principal Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

OKC Relief: 2013-The Pictures


“Doulos. I am a servant.”-Abundant Life Christian Center
“I wasn’t a hero. But I served in the company of heroes.” –Richard Winters, Band of Brothers
In our professional capacity as peace builders, entrepreneurs and social media mavericks here at HSCT, we do our best to separate the “we” from the “I” in this blog. The “we” is talking about strategies in developing a peace building business or marketing strategies for conflict professionals. The “I” comes through in our weekly HIT pieces and sometimes even in our ‘tongue-in-cheek’ approach to writing.
However, occasionally the “we” and the “I” overlap and become just me, Jesan Sorrells. 
And over the next week, I will be blogging my thoughts and conclusions that stemmed from the experience I had last week, traveling to Moore, Oklahoma and the surrounding area, getting –as I put it when I was asked by a fellow traveler—my “skin” in the game, such as it were, in the realm of disaster relief.
As you may or may not be aware, vicious tornadoes ripped through Oklahoma about 4 weeks ago and caused massive devastation, the likes of which have been seen before. But not up close and in the trenches. And, dare I say regular reader, not by you either. I went with a group of about 200 volunteers from Southern Tier Family Life Church (http://www.stflc.org) out of Binghamton, NY and Abundant Life Christian Center (http://www.alcclife.org/) out of Syracuse, NY.
We traveled over 24 hours to Oklahoma, bunked together, military style, and then waded into the 90 degree, dry heat, the still air, the broken rubble and even the broken sewer lines. Our group changed lives and worked so thoroughly that work was thrown at us that others didn’t want to do. We took nothing in return except our bonds with the people we helped, and the bonds we established with each other.
But, the internet is now a media medium of pictures, not words. So, check out the images below in this first post and be back tomorrow for my thoughts on what I learned by serving with a company of volunteer heroes.
—————————————————————————————————————————–
This was in a local neighborhood in Newalla, OK.

This was taken in Moore, OK.
The first tornado of three touched down here in a neighborhood in Moore.

This was taken in a neighborhood in Newalla, OK.

The first thing that all the volunteers did every morning was gather in the pavilion.

Yes, those are stains on my pants. No, it’s not what you think…

We bunked military style, six men to a row.

This is a photo of the opposite side of Moore, OK.
 ————————————————————————————————————————–

 -Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA 
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Follow the Human-Services-Consulting-and-Trainingpage on Facebook
Follow our Principle Consultant, Jesan Sorrells, on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
Connect with HSCT on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/